Surviving the Domestic Jungle

When you are faced with a very difficult decision, whats the best way to go about deciding what to do? A pro and con list is always good because then you can see before your very eyes which is the smarter choice. Some people are patient enough to wait and see what happens as they go along. I am not a patient person and so this route very rarely works for me. You could just hop towards the decision that makes the most sense for the moment and forget about the future or you could make the decision to do whats best for the future and hardest at the moment. So difficult to know which choices are the right choices. Ultimately, things always end up ok in the end and looking back, it usually seems to have been the right choice. Things always have a way of working themselves out and eventually things that seemed so scary and so intimidating in the beginning, end up being something you laugh about later on down the road. My mom always seems to be able to laugh about things that were really difficult back in the day so I am hoping that happens to me with all the things that seem like the worst thing that could ever happen! Isn’t it funny how things work? Things that seem like the worst thing that could ever happen in the history of happening become nothing but a good giggle later. I guess that is proof that “this to shall pass” and “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”. Decisions are hard to make, but one you have made one it is best to stick ot through and never second guess your self.

Divorce, like most other things in life, seems to be a luxury of the rich. Us regular folks are left in marriages we may not be happy in while the rich can be married for a few hours and afford a divorce. Divorce is expensive…even if you agree on everything. If you don’t agree, get out your checkbook because it is going to be expensive! Hence, the reason most people work it out while the rich happily recover from their divorce in their beach house. Money cant buy you happiness, this is true, however, it sure can buy you things that will make you happy! I think of Kim Kardashian and her 72 day wedding (which may or may not have been fake) and how the average person wouldn’t give up after 72 days. Most of us wouldn’t even think to just quit after that long! I don’t think that can even be considered giving your marriage a fair shot. I have always thought things were backwards when it came to marriage and divorce. Marriage should be as difficult to attain as a divorce. If people actually had to wait until the ‘honeymoon’ phase wore off, would they actually still want to get married? Once the work begins, how many would split and how many would stay? If you were forced to really think about your choice, I think a lot more marriages would last, rich or not. Ultimately nothing will ever change but when it comes to divorce….especially while people like Kim Kardashian make it seem like such a joke.

I have always payed attention to my health and what I put in my body. I believe that what we eat really is what we are. If you eat nothing but crap, it will take its toll…and quickly. I try to stay educated on what is good for me but I do also indulge in things that maybe aren’t all that good for me. I have written about my love for McDonalds ice cream once or twice before! Anyway, my new food obsession is blueberries. They are considered a super food by whoever it is that designates foods as such. Those little blue morsels are full of antioxidants and can help reduce belly fat, promote urinary tract health, help preserve vision and many other benefits. The list goes on and on! Now, blueberry pie or blueberry muffins do not have the same benefits so don’t even think about trying to pass those off as healthy! The other day I got some fresh blueberries from the grocery store (I think they may actually be in season because they were really cheap) and grabbed a spoon. I ate the whole container and I’m sure my teeth were blue but I love them! I think food is fascinating and I am slowly getting my family away from eating foods that aren’t really foods…just chemicals formed into foods. I will always allow some junk because I think you need a little bad every now and again! The thing is, the more good foods you eat, when you try to eat a big greasy burger you will probably feel sick. My body would freak out if I tried to shove a big mac and fries down my throat. I would probably feel very sick…and maybe throw up. My body just cant handle that anymore. No ones body can handle it but thank god the human body is versatile because all we do is abuse it!

It has been a long yet successful day! Before my meeting, I went and bought my son a new big boy seat. I know you are supposed to wait until your baby is one year before you put them in a bigger seat but my son is wearing 2t clothes and is almost 11 months and could barely fit in his baby carrier seat. I couldn’t safely do up the straps anymore. It was time. It was one of those moments where your little baby is turning into a man! Well, not quite a man but he is well on his way. I thought he would have a reaction about it (this is a big deal!) but he seemed unimpressed. He’s just a mellow, go with the flow guy that I could have put him in the trunk and he would have been just as happy. I am so thrilled when he reaches all of these milestones but at the same time it saddens me. He has grown so fast…I feel like he was never really a baby. He was ten pounds at birth so he was never really a teeny tiny baby and he is turning into a little boy in the blink of an eye. He is on the verge of walking and now with the big boy seat we are only days away from his first job, girlfriend and high school graduation! *Tear* I hope he is always a mamas boy! He is such a sweet, loving little guy who just melts my heart. Before I had him, I couldn’t imagine what it was like to have a son. The only experiences I had with boys were not exactly fantastic! I am so happy he is my son and I will do my absolute best to raise a gentleman!

Have you ever met anyone from Albania? Do you even know where Albania is? Well, I have a meeting today with an Albanian guy who is designing a website for my parents business. They have had their business for decades yet are just now getting around to a getting a website……sigh. These are the same people who do not text, barely email and call Facebook Facialbook…..sigh again. Anyway, I am helping my parents out with this project because they clearly need it and they decided to take a chance on a young Albanian college student. While I am not sure if he is right for the job, he is a brilliant kid. He came here to get his education to then go back to Albania (which is apparently pretty up and coming) to put his education to good use for his country. He has a very strong accent….almost Russian sounding…and he did question me on where Albania was and thank god I answered correctly!! I hate fitting the stereotype of the stupid American! Some Americans dont even know all of the states! Or where they are! Open books people! Google it!!!! Come on!! Anyway, I am looking forward to this meeting because I am excited  to get their site up and running as it will be an opportunity for me to write and help them attain new business. I just cannot imagine what it was like for him being fresh off the plane from Albania. Texas is a bit of a shock to the senses if you come during the hot times (all year…) and the culture shock of heehaw and big trucks Im sure was just a tad different from what he was accustomed to. Good for him for having the bravery and gumption to take the risk of transplanting himself in a country on the other side of world all by himself. He will go places in life.

When I was in high school, I had a best friend who I had so much fun with. She was a dynamic character to say the least. She was from France and spoke fluent french and english and I was from Canada. This came very much in handy one evening when we were downtown and a man came up to us oozing ‘game’. He spoke to us in french (trying to look cool) and being my friend spoke french, she responded to him and the look on his face quickly became one of shock and defeat! To top it off, he was from the same province in Canada as I was so we pretty much killed his ‘game’ in about three and a half seconds. He just walked off! Lolz. Those were the days. Tonight when I was driving home, I had Cher’s greatest hits on ( I have been an avid Cher fan since I was a kid and still adore her) and one of the songs, ‘Just like Jesse James’, came on which is what got me thinking about my high school best friend. When we would go out on the weekend, we would always play that song while smoking our cigarettes and singing! Click on the above picture to check out the song! Those days are long gone and I actually dont know what became of that friend. That was pretty much the only time in my life that I ‘partied’ and while it is fun to reminisce, I much prefer what I have now!

For most of my life I have shunned the country. I actually am a little scared of the country…something about the quiet and the darkness at night….anyway, I just could never see myself living there. Things change!!! I now am craving it!! Not necessarily deep in the country but my version of the country which is a small town. I would want a little land…nothing more than an acre or two…..and I would have a very natural life. I am doing my best with all the natural stuff like a clothesline (Im going to try making homemade laundry detergent!!!!), a vegetable garden and fruit trees (I really want to grow blueberries) and use naturals soap, lotions, bake everything from scratch and even have a few animals. Could you imagine never having to buy anything prepackaged ever again?! What a lot of work but what a way to live. Of course, I would have to dress the part and that could be fun! I like the country girl look of ‘leather and lace’ and I am really digging wearing cowboy boots! It is funny how my taste went from big city ONLY to wanting to be apart of a small community living as organically as I can. A lot of it has to do with having kids and wanting them to be able to play outside safely and have childhood memories of picking blueberries out of the garden! Moments like that are what childhood is about and cities are just a different vibe. I’m not knocking city life because trust me, if I was a single woman, I would probably choose that lifestyle! My only setback is I am married to a technology addict so I need to figure out how he can have all of his technology stuff (Which I thoroughly enjoy as well) meshed with my organic, natural stuff!

I disappeared for a few days and for good reason. On Tuesday I went from healthy to a fever of a 104 within a few hours. I had a clogged milk duct that made me extremely sick. I have never in my life experienced a fever that high! It was the most crazy experience. Everything takes effort at that temperature. It was hard to talk, I couldn’t walk and I could barely move. Thankfully, my fever broke and then I was just left with just feeling like a truck ran over me and a very sore boob. I have had clogged milk ducts before but never ever like this one. Normally I would get one and then just nurse and nurse my baby but no matter what I did, this one would not heal. I loathe/detest/hate antibiotics and will pretty  much try anything to avoid them so I headed to the Chinese medicine doctor that I used to see. Of course she mixed me up a little mixture and after the first does I was on the mend. I am still a little weak and tired but I have recovered and am ready to write again! One thing no one really discusses about breastfeeding is that there is a chance to have issues. Clogged milk ducts can turn into mastitis and worse! I love to breastfeed my kids but man have I suffered for it! Between engorged boobs, not so perky boobs, clogged boobs and leaks, I have given the best of the best to my babies!

My sister in law and I came up with a theory. A theory so genius it should be mandatory for all men to listen to us! The theory is: If men watched Romantic movies/chick flicks then they will have a better understanding of what women want. Im not talking one or two, I am talking at least 10! Those movies are the best classroom for men who want to keep their wives happy. Putting that little extra effort makes all the difference in the world and everyone knows if Mommy isnt happy, no one is! However, if mommy is happy, chances are daddy is getting some and hence, daddy is happy! Everyone is happy IF they follow the advice in romantic movies. Grand gestures of romance, while occasionally cheesy, are awesome. Little gestures of romance are what makes a relationship last. I am not an expert on relationships. I am actually probably the last person that should comment on them! I just think women are not as complicated as men like to think we are and men are not as complicated as women like to think they are. We are all very simple and want the same thing: To be loved! If men could just take notes from their wives favorite chick flick (The Notebook, Love Actually, Pride and Prejudice to name a few!) then maybe, just maybe, we could be well our way to world peace! Have I ever mentioned I am a dreamer? Perhaps now might be a good moment to mention that!! World Peace from chick flicks….sounds doable!

One of the biggest struggles about being a stay at home mother (other than the crippling isolation) is the fact that you give away all financial power to your spouse. Because of this, you may struggle with a sense of vulnerability. I sure do. I hate it. What if something were to happen? Say my husband died…or he left me…or he had an affair and I had to decide what I wanted to do? Bottom line is, I would have no money and no way to support myself and my children. That is NOT a good feeling and it weighs heavily on me. My husband has held it over me that he makes the money just a few times over a 5 year time span but a few times is enough for me to snap into reality and realize its me and the kids on our own…in a way. I am the mother. I decided to bring these little people into the world and it is my responsibility to take care of them with the assumption that I would have little to no help. In fact, I hate the idea of ‘help’. It opens you up for being beholden to people and that also doesn’t sit right with me. As you can perhaps tell, I am a very independent person and I love to do things on my own. Sometimes I allow help but most of the time I am quite persistent that I do it on my own. Taking out the trash, I welcome help! With all of that being said, I think stay at home moms struggle with so many thoughts and predicaments that you can never really understand until you are knee deep in it. Especially moms like me that do not deal well with vulnerability. The pros to staying home are about neck and neck with the cons but the pros still always win as they are adorable, funny, sweet little people that make the world a better place to be