Surviving the Domestic Jungle

I haven’t written much today because I have been absolutely consumed with Mad Men! What a fantastic show. I love every minute of it and thanks to the wonderfulness of netflix, I can watch all four seasons at my leisure. Netflix is seriously the best thing ever and if you don’t have it…WHY? I think we are actually going to get rid of our cable and just use Netflix. Netflix is great but not the point of my post! Mad Men is such a great show for so many reasons. The amount of taboo topics, cigarette smoking and drinking is delicious! Don Draper is in a league all his own. Amazing! Betty..How gorgeous and miserable and Joan, what a beauty! Peter is a snake and I totally knew Peggy was pregnant! I am just beginning season two and I cannot wait to see where the storyline goes. Things were so different then yet so similar. The amount of sexual harassment at the work place is just disgusting but yet the men totally rely on the women for everything. I cant even fathom a time when you drank and smoked on the job and the amount of affairs is just alarming BUT, with that said, Betty is the typical bored housewife, the marriages are actually kind of loving in their dysfunction and they do a hell of a job at work. Talk about commitment! Don Draper could sell me ice in Alaska! I think I will write a separate post about how the wives are treated and how in someways, life back then is better than life now. I cant now because I have more to watch

One day when I was grocery shopping, I grabbed a package of toilet paper because it came with an in store coupon and I like to save money when and where I can. It seemed like a reputable company (Scott) so I grabbed it and went about my shopping. Once we got it home and cracked it open, we discovered it was the cheapest crap toilet paper in the history of our households usage. It was thinner than paper thin and we would have been better using gift wrapping tissue paper. Now, with the cheapness of the toilet paper, you would have thought that we would have used it all pretty quickly. It was purchased at least a month ago and only 12 rolls. This stuff is amazing! It literally never ends and we have a lot of booty wiping going on in this house. I know its lame to get all excited about toilet paper but that is the life of a housewife. You notice things like that and get excited by them. My husband may kill me but I might actually consider buying that toilet paper again just because it has lasted so long. I want to say that Scott has a line of eco paper products which maybe by accident I purchased or something. I don’t know but this toilet paper is well worth it regardless of how cheap it is!

I have decided that I am going to compile a list of 6 people I would love to have to dinner. Of course this is all based on fantasy but really, what is better than good food, good company and good conversation? Answer: Not much! My first candidate for a dinner invite is a man by the name of Giorgio Tsoukalos. He is the head of the Ancient Alien theory world and quite honestly his vast knowledge on the ‘weird’ places on this earth is something that intrigues me. He is truly a fascinating person…in my opinion! Second person that I would invite is Katt Williams. He is by far the funniest person I have ever known of. There are funny people but Katt’s sense of humor just gets me! He is so funny with his little bittiness and the voices he does. It is classic humor and having him at the table would be an absolute joy. The third person I would invite would have to come willing to divulge some secrets! I would invite the President of the United States! I would grill him about Area 51, The Kennedy assassination and pretty much every other conspiracy theory and rumor. Someone needs to know the truth on those topics and I don’t see why it shouldn’t be me! I don’t know who else I would invite. I will have to think about this and write a part two later! I am restricting myself that they must be alive. If I was including the dead, my dinner guest count would go up drastically! Stay tuned….

Yesterday I had a thought that I needed time to think about before I talked about it. I asked myself what I would do if I had a whole day to myself with no kids and no husband. Ahh just the thought makes me feel relaxed! I love my family more than anything on this earth but every now and again you need a minute to regroup! I would start out my day with waking up when my body wants to wake up and not when a child wakes me up! I would probably still wake up at the same time but waking up knowing I was doing it because my body said it was ok just makes it seem so much better. Next I would feel anxiety about not being with my family which would be a recurring theme throughout the day. I would get up, have some breakfast and get ready to go to the nail salon and get a pedicure. With my feet soft and pretty, I would then head to the bookstore. I would spend a few hours in peace, in a chair, at the store reading. Just having that quiet would be such a nice change. After that I would grab some lunch and not worry about calories. I would actually eat Panera Bread. I love that place and it just seems like a good choice for just me. With the kids its hard to eat at places like that. McDonalds is usually an easier choice. Anyway, I would happily eat my lunch finished off with a cookie, piece of cake or pastry and then I would head home, change my sheets and take a nap. A nap that I wake up from when my body says its done. After that I would go get a snack like pretzels, fruit and maybe some chocolates and then I would pop on a movie…a comedy. After the movie I would literally be yearning for my family and it would be time for them to come home! That would be, more or less, my perfect alone day!

I took my kids to go do one of their favorite things today which is go to the bookstore. They absolutely love it and I enjoy it to as I get to read a few books while they play and look at books. Well, I don’t actually read them, I skim through them and decide if they are worth buying. We were all sitting there having a nice time when my son decides to poop his pants! I mean total blowout down the leg and everything. We went to the bathroom to assess the situation which was not good. I was wearing white so I held him away from me because baby poop is worse than red wine! It does NOT come out. His shorts were unsalvageable and his little onesie had a little on the edge so I wiped him up and went into my diaper bag to see if I had an extra shirt. When I had my first baby, I didn’t carry a diaper bag. I didn’t use one with my second either. I just grabbed 2 diapers and some wipes and put them in my purse. Did I regret not having extra clothes with me? Sometimes but all and all got through it unscathed. I started carrying a diaper bag with my third baby because with my 2 year old still in diapers, that was just too much for my purse. I was thankful I had my diaper bag until I realized what I had in it! I had two wipes, about 10 diapers of every size, a diet coke and no clothes. A diet coke but not clothes? Hmm way to go mom!! I wiped his onesie as best I could and then took his receiving blanket and wrapped it around him like a diaper so I could carry him without getting poop on my shirt! We made it home with some new books, some poop stains but all in all a lovely afternoon.

This is a song I listen to when I need inspiration. I thought I would put it on here because maybe someone out there is in need of inspiration today!

Love (Love, Love)
Devotion (Devotion, Devotion)
Feeling (Feeling. Feeling)
Emotion (Emotion, Emotion)

Don’t be afraid to be weak
Don’t be too proud to be strong
Just look into your heart my friend
That will be the return to yourself
The return to innocence

If you want, then start to laugh
If you must, then start to cry
Be yourself don’t hide
Just believe in destiny

Don’t care what people say
Just follow your own way
Don’t give up and use the chance
To return to innocence

That’s not the beginning of the end
That’s the return to yourself
The return to innocence

My meeting last night was a success. Very interesting group of people with very interesting results. I worried about my kids a lot but my husband did just fine. Was he stressed and exhausted after the 3 hours? Yes but the kids were in one piece so all in all a success. I am well aware I am a people watcher and I did it last night. I observe people before I get to know them and I could see how I come off as unfriendly because of that. I’m just not the person that has to control the room…like my husband! I am the person quietly observing and paying attention to every detail of what is going on and who is in the room. I don’t know why I do it and I don’t plan on changing it! Its not like I am sizing people up by any means, I am more so trying to figure them out before I open up. I dont know how to explain it as it is maybe a little weird but I don’t think I am alone in taking the observer stance before showing my personality. I have recently met a woman who I didn’t need to view before I trusted her and opened up. I love people you just connect with and you just know are good people and you willl have a lot in common with them. Interesting people and experiences have been happening recently and that’s what makes life enjoyable. We always need to make the best of our situations and I am trying to make the best of my life by finding some sort of life outside of being a wife and mother. Being a housewife will drive you insane..if you let it!

For my little social thing this evening, I am supposed to bring a snack or dish and I feel the need to talk about it because I am such a crazy person sometimes that I have over analyzed this to the point of needing to share my findings. First of all, a snack denotes a quick little nibble and that is generally ate with your hands. In other words, no dishes involved. A dish tends to lean towards something warm that is eaten with utensils and on a plate. Well, I am not cooking something because lets face it, that’s a lot of effort and who actually wants to eat the homemade food of a stranger? If you are adorably neurotic like myself, you probably look at a homemade dish of someone you have never met and wonder how clean their hands, kitchen and dish were. Then, if you are extra crazy (like myself) you probably wonder about how they got the dish to the place you are meeting at. How long was it out of the fridge!? Just not worth the stress in my opinion. So if you are left with the option of bringing a snack, I always lean towards a sweet. Not a whole cake or anything but a package of cookies or a pastry seems nice…Store made! Again, the whole homemade snack thing kind grosses me out. I always bring something sweet because whenever I go somewhere, I always hope there are sweets. Im surprised I still have teeth with all the sweets I love to ingest. I would never be that person that brings a vegetable tray or something. Oh how lame! Its not the time nor place for vegetables! I have this ridiculous theory that calories don’t count as long as they are consumed away from my house! I know its crazy but if I am eating calorie free food, it is not going to be a vegetable! I wonder what the other people are going to bring…….Hopefully something sweet!

Today is a big day! Today I am having an interesting evening with an interesting group of people. It is basically an evening based on ‘spiritual stuff’ but the point is, I am going alone. All alone. No children! I am beyond nervous leaving my kids with their dad. I know he can take care of them but I worry that he will be overwhelmed because this is the longest I have ever left him! I keep wanting to breakdown and bring the baby with me but I know I need this time and my husband needs to spend time with the kids without me. Helps him gain some perspective that maybe I do a lot while he is at work! I very very rarely leave the kids in general and every time I have anxiety but I figure as long as they are alive when they get home, I don’t care if they are dirty or if the house is destroyed. Also, tonight is the premiere of Ancient Aliens 3 which is so exciting! I feel like I should get paid for all the advertising I do for that show but it is really that good. I wont be home so I will have to record but the moment I walk through the door, assess the disaster and say hi to the kids, we will be sitting down and watching that show. Hands down, my favorite show. I like a lot of crap reality tv but this show I actually learn from! Either way, its a big day and I am excited!

As an average Joe in the world, there really isn’t all that much I can do to save it. I cant fix ozone holes and clean the oceans but I sure can recycle and in my neighborhood, we are lucky enough to have a huge trash bin and a huge recycling bin provided by the city. Now, my trash bin never gets full because we are recyclers. My recycling bin on the other hand is busting at the seams when they come to get it. What makes me literally want to start a ruckus is when I drive past trash bins that are overflowing with recyclables. What is that persons problem!? I literally want to go scold them! When the recycling is made easy for you, what is the problem? Why add the the landfill!! WHY??? I really am passionate about doing what I can with what I have and when I see just a disgusting display of laziness I lose faith in mankind. I just cant stomach people like whoever it was I drove by. We are all aware that we are destroying our planet and if something isnt done in the near future to remedy what we are doing, there are going to be problems that could have been avoided. Stupidity and ignorance at its best.