Surviving the Domestic Jungle

Today is my daughter Avery’s last day of school and I am thrilled about it. I haven’t been this happy to have a summer since I was in school!! The reason I am so happy is that I can maybe, hopefully sleep in!! My children all keep such different hours that I have been tired for a very long time and being able to catch up on sleep, not have my day interrupted because I have to pick her up at 2:45 and not worry as much about the sicknesses she comes home with sounds like a dream come true. Im not sure what we will do all day everyday but we will find something. I was worried my daughter would forget everything she had learned but thankfully, her teacher is pretty on it and gave her two workbooks to do and when those are done, I will buy her some to keep her brain from turning into summertime mush! At first, I was unsure of her teacher and her school in general but she has learned so much and done so well, I have no worries. She is going to excel academically because she actually enjoys learning. She loves doing homework and writing and reading. Im sure as she ages it will lose its luster, but for now, she is into it. Thankfully her homework isnt too hard for me to do…yet! My mind does not do sciences and maths. I have a creative brain with a lust for history so I always got A’s in history (of any sort, world/us/Canada) English, arts etc. I could barely pass chemistry and maths. I just could not grasp it no matter how much I studied. My inability to do math and science well really hindered what I thought I could do for a “living”. I wanted to be an architect because of my love of homes and design but too much math. I ended up being a stay at home mom so no major loss I suppose. Soon enough I hope to have a job creating and designing. More on that later. I must get off here as her last day ends in 30 minutes and I need to get ready to get in the carpool lane..wont miss that!!

Last night I was speaking with my sister in law about baby pictures of my brother (her husband) and how she wanted to have some. I have a few albums in my possession and it got me thinking about how things have changed when it comes to photos. Back when we were kids, you actually had film that you had to take and get….oh my god, I dont even remember whats it called……Developed!! So you had to take your film, get it developed and there was no way to delete the bad ones before you paid to have them developed. There was no record of the pictures other than the physical picture and the negatives but who actually kept all the negatives? Basically, the pictures I have from childhood are the only copies. They get ruined, that’s it. We were discussing getting them copied and put on a disk so that we wouldn’t have to worry as they age that they will get ruined. I have a bazillion pictures of my kids on my computer and it would probably cost a $1000 to get them all developed!! I will do it one day but for now, they are on my hard drive that is being backed up daily so hopefully they are safe. I have about 6 albums I have done since my husband and I got married but I need about 20. It is such an effort to keep up with pictures which is probably why my mom just ended up putting the few pictures she did take (she is still bad about taking pictures and never remembers her camera!!!) and put them all in a box. One day I showed my kids a picture of how she looked when I was a little kid and my kids didnt even recognize her!! I was a child in the 80′s so you can imagine how my mom looked in her over the top make-up, hair, clothes and shoes! Bigger was better back then. Pulling out that box and going through it is hours of fun and laughs for me and now I share it with my kids, and as soon as I get some of my brothers baby pictures to him, he can share it with my niece. It is a real reality check that we are all officially adults when I look through those pictures with my kids.

As the mother of three, and at one time being a child myself, I have pretty much seen every kid movie….ever! I have to say, movies have gotten better overtime with the messages they present to children:

RobinHood: Stealing is ok

Dumbo: Drinking and racist undertones

Aladdin: “Fake it til you make it” and lying about who you are is ok

Little Mermaid: Abandoning your family and everything you know for a man is ok

Sleeping Beauty: A kiss holds the answer to everything

Beauty and The Beast: Love the ugly guy and you become a princess

That is just a few examples but my point is, the messages are not all that wonderful. Especially since ALL of them have a happy ending. This is slightly askew from reality. Life is a difficult challenge and even harder, love and marriage. I have only ever found one kid movie that I think holds valuable messages for children as well as adults. That movie is Toy Story 3. Whoever wrote that movie, got it right. The overall message of the movie is Family. Whatever and whoever make your family, you stick with them and always support each other. United, those toys were successful. Divided, they suffered. Family is number one and should always be number one. The second lesson was that evil sometimes hides as good. That strawberry smelling bear presented himself as good but really he was an angry, vindictive, lying evil stuffed animal. Sometimes in life, people who seem like they are good people, are pretending and end up being evil. This is a harsh reality but very true. We marry them, date them, give birth to them, live next to them, work for them, they work for us etc etc etc. Bad people are intermingled with good people and you must learn to not just trust everyone. You need to give people the benefit of the doubt but ultimately, some people are just bad people. Some fairytale dragons cannot be slayed and kids need to know that and quite frankly, so do some adults. The third message that I thought was fantastic was the sheer persistence of those toys. They never took no for an answer and always found their way out of a bad situation. This is possible in reality as well. No matter how trapped we feel, there is always a way out. It may not be exactly the way we want, but a way will always present itself. The thing that I loved about this particular message, was that when the toys were presented with what looked like an impossible situation, they held hands, supported each other and then accepted and surrendered to their situation. Sometimes, we just have to have faith. We need to just lean on each other, close our eyes and hope that somehow things will be ok. Not every situation in life can be fought through. Sometimes we just need to let things flow and stop resisting. Once we stop resisting, sometimes opportunities open up that we were too busy ignoring. The toys were saved by the “claw” at the moment they needed to be saved and not a moment before. Those toys went from thinking they were headed to the attic to ending up in a much better situation with a new kid. Life is full of twists and turns and never have a watched a movie that illustrates life lessons better. My daughter watches that movie daily and I am so happy she loves it. I hope on some level she is absorbing the messages the movie is putting forth whether the writer meant to present those messages or not. I do still believe all the classics are still vital to childhood and I make every attempt to allow my children to see them when they come out of the vault, but Toy Story 3 will always be the best example of life that I can show them on a level they can grasp. Its time for us to stop believing that one kiss, one man, one drink or taking something from someone will save us. It wont. We have to save ourselves first and not put all our dreams into dead ends. A kiss is just a kiss but it is magical with the right person. That right person is human and will be a pain in your butt sometimes. You will fight! You will get mad at each other no matter how great the kiss is or he is. Life is better experienced sober and everything worth having feels better when it is earned and the ugly guy is not a mealticket. Happily ever after doesnt exist but, happily most of the time does! There are other lessons and messages in the movie (like Andy not having a father) but the main ones for me, were the ones I mentioned. Check out the movie and see if it moves you as much as it moved me.

When my husband says his son is his ‘pride and joy’, it melts my heart. When he brags to people how healthy , big, smart and handsome he is, it melts my heart even more. I know he loves our daughter insane amounts as she is a daddies girl but to hear your husband refer to your son as his pride and joy is so special. I think having your son grow up with his father is so important. Now, what makes a father is definitely up for debate. Fathers come in all forms. When my husband holds our son and talks to him and makes him smile, it is so cute. My husband is smiling ear to ear and the funny thing is, my husband has dimples when he smiles and so does Hudson so its the same smile smiling back at each other! My kids both adore their father which tells me I made the right choice in the daddy dept. My oldest also loves him and has a lot of fun with him. I can honestly say, he treats her exactly how he treats my other daughter, both as his own. When we found out we were having a boy, we were thrilled and shocked all at the same time. When Hudson arrived, I could see on my husbands face how happy he was to have a son. He is the little prince of our family, he is also the first boy grandchild so he is extra special. Hudson has no choice but to be good to women considering he is surrounded! It was cute when we went to the party the other night for my niece, my husband dressed them the same. A little cheesy but it is the little things like that, that tell me he is so happy to have a son. As Hudson grows, I know they are going to be best buds. That is, if mommy can let him go! I am forcing him to be a mama’s boy because my oldest is so independent now and Hailey is such a daddies girl, I need one of them to be a mama’s something! When my daughter Hailey sees her dad, you would think a rock star walked through the door. Do I get that reaction? Nope. Im just mom but that’s ok. I know when it comes down to it, mommy is always the go to for scraped knees and bad dreams. We love our kids so much and make them the center of our universe. They are our driving force to do better and get better and have better. I feel like now that my husband has a son to lead into manhood, he really wants to be the best he can be. I see him trying and putting himself out there to do better for our family and I love him for it.

So, it seems the world didn’t end. Im not surprised but the topic made for some interesting conversations. I was living in the dark ages or something because I had NO CLUE the end of the world was upon us until I heard it on the radio 2 days before. I need to watch the news more often or read the newspaper or something. Thankfully, the world did not end and life has gone on as usual. I would have been really pissed if it was over because I had my niece’s first birthday party last night and it was a party I had been looking forward to for a long time. It may have been a baby party but it was all adults and a few kids. It was really fun! My little niece is just adorable and my brothers in-laws are really just the nicest people. Its not very often we go to parties and I decided to take on a huge responsibility: The babies cake. This is a huge deal and after I said I would do it, I got nervous. There is a lot of pressure when it comes to the cake and especially a kid cake. There were specific requirements of the cake being in the shape of a duck and being yellow. I was so tense that I made a prototype the day before just in case I couldn’t handle it the way I felt it should be, and had to order one. Luckily, I came up with a cake that was pretty cute and when I arrived at my sister-in-laws parent house, they were in love with it and complimented me all night. Well, I just felt like a million bucks! My cake was pretty big and there was nothing left by the end. Everyone ate my cake and commented on my cake and I was really proud of myself. My brother and sister-in-law were happy and so was my niece and that was all that really mattered to me. If the world ended, I wouldn’t have been able to make the now infamous duck cake and so thank you God for not bringing the rapture!!

So, rumor has it the world ends tomorrow or at least the process of the world ending starts tomorrow. I’m not too sure of the details but I know it is at 6pm and there is going to be an earthquake. One question that I find perplexing: How come the world ends at 6pm central standard time? Who knew God was so precise! I personally find this to be nonsense and hope that all the radicals of this world who feel they are better than any other HUMAN, have red cheeks when life goes on as usual. Why are humans so damn narcissistic that they think we are the only intelligent life in the universe, they are worth God’s time or that they are some how superior to anyone. To be human is to be flawed. To be human is to make mistakes and sin! My theory is: Follow the ten commandments and you will probably be ok. Don’t kill, don’t steal, don’t sleep with your neighbors wife etc. To me, that is basic morals and didnt need to be made into commandments. I will never understand why people make God feel human emotions. Humans judge, humans hurt each other and humans cause death and destruction. Some religious folks make God seem like an angry, hateful, judgemental ass and I personally dont think that God is “that guy”. To say the world is going to end because God is tired of sins (or whatever the reason maybe) is just a waste of breath and complete lack of responsibility on our part. If this world ends, it is because we ruined it. The only way it could possibly be ruined by something other than humans is natural disaster and the only thing grand enough to do that would be an asteriod big enough to cease all life. Im not a scientist or a world ending profession so dont quote me on that! We dont need God to tell us we are screwing up our planet. We do that all by ourselves, sinners and perfect people alike. Its about time people woke up and realized that A) God is NOT a jerk who just sits in the clouds condemning people who are doing there best to make a living, raise their children and be reasonably good people. And B) Stop blaming God for the end of the world coming and start realizing that we are ruining our world without any divine intervention and we need to stop! We know how to live greener and in harmony with the earth but for some reason, it just is taking a lllooonnnnggg time to happen. Hopefully soon, we can stop sitting around waiting for the world to end and actually do something to save it!!

I have been reading a childhood friends blog about his move to Paris and I must say, he writes fantastically! Every time I read it I am left wanting more. Right now, he is talking about the process he had to go through to get there and it is actually pretty entertaining. You never think about all the intricate details that moving to another country entails, but what an ordeal. When I read his writing, I truly believe mine sucks in comparison. I am not telling a story though so I guess our styles are different. If I had some exciting life of Parisian adventures, maybe I would feel like my writing is a tad more entertaining! I’m jealous. I have browsed over other peoples blogs and I find them boring as heck. I often wonder how mine ranks with people who read it although I am usually convinced absolutely no one reads it. There are so many blogs out there that you must really stand out in the crowd or at the very least, have your friends and family read it. Only problem with that, they know all your stories because you just got off the phone with them before you sat down to write your epic story. I can only hope I am as entertaining as I find him to be. The last blog he wrote was about how friendships change and end or proceed depending on marriage and children. If you arent at the same stage, friendships tend to be strained. So true and something I believe I have written about many many times. Its nice to know I am not the only one who feels that way or has noticed that. Either way, I look forward to his next blog and only hope that someone somewhere looks forward to mine!

Getting children organized for travelling is a pretty big operation. I took both of my girls to Chicago when my youngest was 8 months and after all the preparation, I ended up buying them a bunch of new clothes because I didn’t anticipate how cold it would be there. We were only there for a few days so it wasn’t that bad but still, my point is, it is a production and you must pack pretty much everything they own….just in case. Kids need to have a minimum of two outfits a day, in my over packing opinion. What if they spill or get dirty and you want to go out that night for dinner? You need a new outfit which means you probably need multiple shoes. I think three pairs each is a reasonable amount. One pair of casual sandals, one pair of fancy sandals and a pair of tennis shoes. Of course this all depends on what kind of climate you are going to. Winter climates you could probably get away with three pairs of you substitute the sandals with a warmer shoe. Now, on top of clothing, shoes, underwear, jammies and socks, you also need diapers if you have a baby. I need to bring pullups, diapers, wipes and then that means you also need rash cream, tylenol and bottles which leads to do I need to bring my breast pump and bottle washer? That’s a lot of planning!!!!!! I am leaving town soon and have to figure out all of this. I have my list of things and it is already 2 pages. Its insane. Then I have to organize my biggest baby, my husband! He is impossible and will pack one shirt and say he’s done. Um no. That’s where I step in but the thing that makes him worse than the kids, he has an opinion. With the kids, I pick everything! Sometimes my 6 year old has issues with what I pick but for the most part, I know her style and I buy what I know she likes. My husband on the other hand has strict rules about what he will wear. Rules that I have no idea why he follows! Such a daunting task just to get them organized and then there’s me!! Little old me!! I hope someone somewhere realizes what us moms go through to leave the house for a few days!!

I was reading a book yesterday where the author started each chapter with a quote and one of those quotes really stuck with me:

Never be afraid to try something new. Remember, amateurs built the ark. Professionals built the Titanic.

The author is unknown but what a fantastic quote. At first I was taken back by it and the reference to the Titanic but then I got the point. Now, I personally am not a big believer in the ark story. It is impossible, in my opinion, to get 2 of every animal on a boat. I think there may have been an ark but I think the story may have been beefed up as time went by. The men who built it werent great minds who were educated in a university. They were just some guys with a message from above. The guys who built the Titanic really screwed up. The reason I like the quote is because when all the odds are against you, you can still be victorious if you simply try. It was a quote that found me when I needed it. I am in the midst of trying something new, stepping outside of my box and building my own ark with the hopes that I to am victorious. Life is a gamble and I dont want to sit on the sidelines watching it go by and watching my dreams slip away because it was too hard or too unattainable. Everything and anything is attainable, you just have to try and make the effort. Im prepared for the work because I want the result! After years of being home with kids and trying to figure out what really inspires me as far as work goes, I think I am finally accepting the talents that I do have instead of repressing them because I dont believe in myself. I am old enough and good enough to believe in myself and I am setting out on an adventure. We shall see if my ark is a canoe or a luxury yacht!!

I love my husband, I really do but, whenever I go grocery shopping with him, I hate him. He is so damn neurotic about the grocery store it drives me insane. Literally. I cant even make eye contact with him I get so annoyed! He has to place everything in the basket a certain way where I am more a protect the chips, bread and eggs and then just throw the rest in kind of person. He gets so damn uptight about whether we are blocking someone in the aisle that he will make a huge scene if I take to long in someones way. Ok, not a huge scene but it feels that way to me. If I am trying to look at the crackers, go around me! I think everyone in the grocery store does their best to be courteous but I sure am not going out of my way to make anyone’s experience better. I am highly stressed when I go with three little kids and if you have to wait 5 extra seconds for me to grab what I need, then so be it. He thinks we are ruining peoples day or something! I don’t know why he worries about everyone because it is me who is constantly in trouble for being in the way. By the time we leave, we have either had a fight or I am silently stewing and angry with him. It is NOT something we should do together at all. I am just 100000 times more relaxed about the whole experience than he is. I gave up giving a crap years ago. I used to worry about the kids screaming where now I dont even hear it. Are we at a library? No, we are at a grocery store! It is not a fast food joint so slow down and take your time because you forget one thing and its back in the trenches! I like having my husband there as a set of hands to help me wrangle the kids but other than that, it is a solitary activity. As you can probably tell, my level of intensity may give you the impression we just returned from the grocery store. We did and I am never going with him again unless he is drunk or sedated and RELAXED. Too make things even more annoying, he has to place things on the conveyor belt a certain way. I would get in trouble if I tried to help so I just stopped helping. He isnt all “Sleeping With the Enemy” psycho where the cans have to face a certain way at home, but in the grocery store, he and the man from that movie are about equal in their insanity. Again, I love my husband but I love when he doesn’t come grocery shopping with me even more!