Surviving the Domestic Jungle

I was watching a movie on Netflix (dont have it? get it!!) and there was a line that has stuck with me that I believe to be the perfect way to sum up marriage:

Getting divorced because you dont love your spouse is as stupid as getting married because you do

Now, lets analyze that little piece of truth!! If you are married, chances are you find that funny yet true. If not, you may not get it and think that marriage is actually about love. Love is 1% of marriage. 90% is compromise and giving up what you want and the other 9% is sex, fun etc. Love is an emotion that fades and when it fades, in comes respect, loyalty and compassion and maybe a few other things but at this moment, that’s all I can think about. The thing about love is that it can bring hate as well. I have my own personal quote that may be disturbing to some but oh well. My quote is this: You have never been in true love until you have contemplated murder. I don’t mean literally but half jokingly, only someone you love that much can hurt you that much which occasionally makes you want to kill them! I know it’s dark but you get my drift…I hope. Marriage is hard and love alone will not get you through it. You really do have to give up on some dreams and desires. Not all, but things change and to keep the peace, you do what you have to do and then try your best not to resent your spouse! See where the hate comes in! Anyway, marriage kind of sucks but there are those moments that make it all worth it. I used to see other couples as having it all figured out and then I would find out they have problems too. We ALL have crappy marriages in my opinion. Who has the perfect, drama free, healthy marriage? No one and if they say they do, they are liars who don’t want to fess up to being in a crappy marriage too. When I say crappy, I don’t mean it as a bad thing. We are all in crappy marriages which means we are all normal, we are all struggling to find our way and we all have really bad days and really good days with our spouses. Here’s my advice, if you are considering marriage, read the quote. If you are considering divorce, read the quote. If you are in between, read the quote as a refresher!