Surviving the Domestic Jungle

Well, still pregnant with no signs of anything happening today. This is rough and it looks like our son will be born in a different month than I thought!! For now, my phone rings constantly “did you have the baby?” and I always say “I would have called you!”. My other personal favorite is whenever I call someone and you can hear in their voice they are hoping I say “It’s time.” Well, no one hopes it is time more than me!!!! Oh and there is the ever popular “when are you due?” and I say last week. Instant sympathy from folks which is nice but ultimately does nothing for me. I was going to get all physical and walk and do a bunch of stuff but then I thought, screw it, hand over the girl scout cookies and TV remote. I will only be able to eat like that for a few more days so might as well live it up! Plus I lost some weight so I have not gained much this pregnancy and a couple of cookies sound delightful. If I do a bunch of physical stuff Im just going to either wear myself out or hurt myself and neither one sound appealing. My mom is taking me out today to run errands with her just to help me keep my sanity! I don’t really care to go to Sams Club or the post office but it is better than being at home wondering if every little cramp or contraction is labor starting. I ignore it when I am busy but being busy takes sooooo much effort at this point. Anyway, for the 2 people that read this blog and are wondering if I have given birth, no I have not but I will tell you when I do!!

Life is such an interesting journey that it never ceases to amaze me. There are so many ups and downs and twists and turns and it really is never dull. Some days a little dull would be ok and a few less downs would be nice but I guess you have to take the good with the bad. I try my best to roll with the punches but some punches are just too big and too hard. When I feel down, it feels so strange to me because I am not a ‘down’ kind of person. I am generally happy and content but every so often, I have days where I want to climb in my bed, ignore my responsibilities and just cry. I know I have super raging hormones right now which add to feeling sad but even not pregnant, I just have those days where life sucks. I easily rebound when I realize what a gift and humor filled ride life is. I love irony and the element of surprise that life has to offer. One time the phone rings, your life could change. One knock on the door, one chance encounter with a stranger or even one commercial on tv! The twists and turns that get you to where you are today are what make you interesting and give you stories to tell. Some days you may not like your story but ultimately, it is your story. I like my story (most parts) and it always amazes me the twists I have had in my life. Especially when I think about meeting my husband. The likelihood of a baby girl being born in northern Canada and a baby boy being born in Texas and ending up meeting decades later and falling in love is just one of those stories where you want to know how you got from point A to point B! I suppose when life gets you down, just think of the positive things it has presented to you and believe that more will come your way because what goes down, must come up and down again and then up again…..

My oldest daughter, Avery, won an award at school that was based on her character and being a good person. I was so incredibly proud of her! I always tell her to be kind to others and a good person but to see that her school actually thinks she is, is just an incredible feeling as a mom. She listens to me!! There was a little ceremony yesterday morning (very very early) and I took her and bought a whole new outfit for it. I am a big believer in positive reinforcement and with Avery, that comes in the form of clothes! She looked adorable walking up on stage to get her very first award. I was so proud of her! It got me thinking about the other types of awards you get at school which are usually academic and sport related. I decided that while I don’t care about sports, I do care that she is academically up to par, but ultimately, I would much rather her win an award for the kind of person she is. Anyone can study their way to the top but it takes a special person to be kind. You would think that would not be all that hard but have you ever met children? They are so mean and rude to each other! They say it exactly how they see it and have no social filter which is why as adults, we find what they say as funny but to their peers, things they say can be devastating. Avery is always coming home telling me something ridiculous that one of her friends have told her. The most recent is I wont love her after the baby is born. She seemed concerned about this but I told her she already had a sister and I still loved her after that! The day she told me one of her friends told her Santa wasn’t real was not fun. I’m a liar but I convinced her he was real. It doesn’t hurt to believe in magic just for a little while. You have the rest of your life to come to the realization that there is not much that is magical after Santa. I’m sure sex, drugs and alcohol will eventually come up but I think I am prepared for all of that. Kids grow up so fast these days and its sad. Oh well, I have a daughter who has a notable character and I could not be happier!!

This evening at dinner my husband was telling a story from his youth when he walked to school on a Saturday and had to use a pay phone to call his grandmother and see if she would come and pick him up. It got me thinking about what the heck we did before cell phones and internet and GPS and all the things that allow us to keep in constant contact with people all over the world! If I don’t have my phone, I feel naked and unsafe. What if my car broke down? What if I was in labor? How would I call my husband?? Well, believe it or  not, people lived through those exact situations using land lines and pay phones!! Just scares me to think of a world like that! And imagine life without the Internet! How would I know anything????? I would have 6 sets of encyclopedias to try and learn but even those cant teach you what the Internet can. You can look up ANYTHING on the Internet and learn about it. Its such a great tool….most of the time. When I asked my husband the question of what did we do before cell phones, I answered my own question and said “LESS DRAMA!!”. When you think about it, it makes sense that our lives were less drama filled. There was no drunk dialing and if there was, you better hope they weren’t already on the phone because you werent getting through! There was no texting! No instant anything. You had to put in real effort to get a hold of someone where as  now, you push a button. If you left the house, you better hope you had an answering machine!! My husband said we knew less which is also true. It was much easier to have an affair and use the excuse that you couldn’t find a phone! Gossip took longer to get around and there was no call waiting. Ahh how things have changed and when I tell my kids about it all, they are probably going to laugh about how we lived. Its the same thing as our parents telling us they used to walk to school….uphill…..in the snow…with  no shoes!! Only difference is our stories will be true!!

All my exercise landed me at the birthing center with extreme pain in my right side and contracting. I guess what I wanted but it turned out to be a pulled muscle. They think. I have been in bed for 2 days now and am totally miserable because I am cramping and cramping and NOTHING is happening. I’m bored out of my mind and a little grouchy to say the least. I’m not too thrilled with the midwife experience right now either. When I went to the birthing center, they were playing guessing games instead of testing me for problems. They did the Doppler for the babies heartbeat and no ultrasound (his heart rate went up), the tested my pee when I left. It just wasn’t what they do at the hospital. They would have been monitoring every move my baby made, I’m sure I would have had blood work done and pee tests and basically every other test to figure out what was going on. It was not labor and with the babies heart rate up in the 170′s, I was nervous. The pain was terrible and  was not impressed with their lack of urgency. Not everyone and everything is textbook! I’m really grouchy about all of this because the pain has been for days. Not so much on my right side like before but just cramping chronically and it is really getting annoying. I want the pain to stop or the baby to come! I’m a very whiny baby right now so I’m going to end this post now!!

Well, I walked up the monster of a hill TWICE and nothing happened. I know where and how I am going to firm back up after he is born! That driveway/hill is amazing for the legs and booty! Walking down it takes control and walking up it takes a miracle! Today we are going to go to the zoo and get some more exercise which I am looking forward too. It is hard on me but I enjoy fresh air and exercise that you don’t consider exercise. I don’t consider it exercise to walk around a zoo or shopping because you aren’t focused on it. You are just having fun with the added bonus of getting your heart rate up. I personally HATE to sweat. I find it to be such an uncomfortable feeling and so I am more of an indoor exerciser being I live in a very hot climate. I see people jogging in the summer and think they are insane but enviable. Jogging is hard to begin with but in 100 degree weather, it is not even an option for me! I like walking personally. I used to be able to walk every night but when we moved, we moved out of suburbia heaven and into an older neighborhood that just isnt very good for walking. I was thinking about buying a dvd for postpartum shape up but as my husband so honestly put it, “you wont do it”, and he’s right. I probably have ten workout videos I have done one time each. This time though I think I want to get serious about fitness. I am done having body ruining babies so it is time to attempt repair! A little surgical help would be nice but right now it is not in the budget. Eventually though I will get some help to fix things up a bit! I hope my kids have a great time at the zoo today! I know my youngest will for sure. She LOVES animals and the outdoors so she should be in heaven all day!

I hate to keep harping on my pregnancy coming to an end but it is driving me insane. Tonight happens to be a full moon which you may or may not know, can bring on labor. Or so ‘they’ say! My midwife said that water breaks more on a full moon which makes sense since the oceans are affected by the moon. I was thinking that giving birth on a weekend is best for my family. My daughter is not in school, my husband is available and there is no traffic! It would be easy for everyone (except me because no matter what, it will be hard for me!). My plan of action is going to my moms after I pick up my daughter from school and being she lives at the top of a hill, I may just hike my big butt up their gravity defying driveway once or twice on a full moon! That has to affect something right? If it doesn’t, my back up is walking around at the local zoo with my family and if that doesn’t work, forget it, I am spending the next day in bed eating! Yesterday I washed all my baby clothes and packed what he needs for the birthing center. Being I am not giving birth in a hospital, you have to provide your own diapers, blankets and clothes. He is all packed and ready and I am 1/2 packed but I know exactly what I am bringing and will throw it in a bag when the time comes. I cant wait to be done, get fit and feel normal again!! I want to meet our son so badly and see who he looks like! Our daughter looks EXACTLY like my husband so I am hoping that my son has something of me! I want my old clothes with zippers and buttons and no elastic! I want to wear high heels without feeling like I’m going to fall! I want to sleep on my back and stomach and I want to be able to cuddle with my husband without the baby kicking him!! I know there are women out there who are jealous of me being able t have babies and be pregnant but I am jealous of them being skinny and normal! The grass is always greener isn’t it? Well, wish me luck and that mother nature is on my side!!

I took the girls to the park yesterday and I must say that the park is always an interesting experience. I am a confessed people watcher and yesterday was definitely a good day for that! I was so stressed out by the time we left because Avery injured herself and I apparently was the only person who didn’t see my child crying holding her ankle. Where I was sitting, she was hidden behind a wall and some woman came to me and said “is that your little girl? Shes hurt! Is that your little girl?” Terrified me! She was all hysterical. I told Avery to stand up and see how it felt and of course she was fine after a few steps. Hailey had a blast but she is a “little” kid and the park was packed with “big” kids. Big Boy kids. When I see boys running around I get scared because my girls are just not like those boys. It makes me wonder how my son is going to be. I was in mama bear mode trying to protect my baby from these wild boys! Luckily she never got knocked down or hurt so all in all, the park was a success. Usually when I go, there is someone who asks me all the standard pregnancy questions. When are you due, what are you having etc. I answer the questions and move on. This isn’t my first baby and I’m not all super excited to tell every living soul every detail. I’m just trying to play with my kids! Something about pregnant bellies just draws people in. I am the opposite and I don’t know why. The other day a pregnant woman was asking me all about my pregnancy and I never once asked her about hers. Sounds terrible but I am just not a person who goes nuts over pregnant women…or children! I am terrified of holding other peoples kids! I don’t like it at all and actually held my 9 month and 6 month old nieces for the first time EVER a few weeks ago because their mothers forced me. I am just not a kid person even though I love having kids. Weird. Anyway, the park was a good time and we will return soon enough!

In my attempt to keep myself busy until delivery day, I am researching the city I live in and what there is to do for families. I lived in this city a long time ago when I was young, single and child free so the things I know of from those days are just not compatible with my life at this point. It is a great city for the young and I am finding out what a great city it is for us old, married parents! There is actually a lot to do here and also in surrounding areas. I think this weekend we are either going to go to the Science Museum or the Zoo or a dinosaur exhibit my sister in law was telling me about. Heck, maybe all three out of desperation to stay busy and active!! We have Monday off school so it should be a busy weekend. I wish I could go to my family ranch and relax but driving 2 hours away just doesn’t seem smart at this point! Although, the last time I went there, I ended up in the hospital in pre term labor so perhaps…….nah just kidding! Way too much stress to go through that again! I think I am going to clean out my closet and change my style after this baby. After each of my kids, I have revamped things a bit. Not too much because I have a very specific style but maybe it is time to add some flair to my wardrobe. People tell me I have a very “gap girl” style meaning pretty simple. I like solid colors and cotton!! Preppy about sums it up. I want to add some out of the ordinary pieces because as I get older, I am able to pull them off better. Maybe I’m ‘nesting’ if I feel like going through my closet. I guess it is either nesting or boredom. Either way, I am hoping to jam pack my week and weekend with activities to keep me sane and not obsessing over every contraction and cramp!!

I’m not sure if I think Facebook is a good thing or a bad thing. I think it depends on the person and their intent. Some people use Facebook as a way to keep in touch with friends and family and keep it pretty innocent while others tend to use it as a drama filled fun time! Some people use it to tell us what they are doing every three seconds!! I think it can be a good thing if used properly. Ive heard of affairs starting on Facebook which most likely stems from people searching for old flames or old flames searching for them! You know how they call alcohol liquid courage? Well I believe people sitting behind a computer have a confidence they really don’t have. You are ten times more likely to say something incriminating from the safety of your computer then in front of someone. If you didn’t have Facebook, you wouldn’t even have found those old flames! I couldn’t give a rats ass what my exes are doing or look like! I am happy and in love with my husband and would NEVER disrespect him or our family by wasting my time chatting with some idiot from my past who didn’t make it to my present. I have a personal account mainly to stay in touch with friends in different countries and check out their pictures  and most of my friends are in the same boat as me (parent, married). A few of my friends use it as a place to bitch and whine and post extremely personal information that almost makes me feel uncomfortable to read. I don’t need to know about every breakup or every bump in your road. I guess it makes people feel better to put it all out there but every now and again, a personal matter should stay a personal matter. As I write this, I am thinking about how someone could argue with me that I put it all out there by having a blog but I see those as different. I don’t force anyone to read my blog and often wonder if any does! I just write for me. On Facebook, you KNOW that your friends will see what you write. I dont know. I guess I just think people should stop using Facebook for negative things and use it for more innocent things. It certainly isnt worth destroying a marriage or friendship over. It is even less worth it to use it as a way to harass and stalk people!! Facebook might bring out the crazy in you so proceed with caution!