Jan
28
Yesterday was one of those days where you finally accept what has been happening and quit living in denial. My daughter, Avery, is sick and I don’t mean cold or flu sick. I mean months of deterioration to the point now where she is exhausted all the time, pale with black circles around her eyes, rarely eats, rarely plays and her hair has started to look unhealthy. I have known for a while now she has been having tummy troubles and I took her to the dr for that and she said first we will try prilosec for 2 weeks and if that doesn’t work, we will go into more extensive testing. Yesterday I got a call from her school that she was not well again. She has been sick more in the past 2 months than she has in her whole life. Her immune system is very weak due to whatever it is her body is trying to fight and losing the battle. I took her immediately to a clinic to get her blood taken. Her doctor had ordered the blood work and I was going to do it just not in an emergency state of mind. I was thinking Friday after school we could pop over and do it not after me crying for an hour that my baby is not well. My mom hadn’t seen her in a month and when she saw her, she was immediately concerned and then my sister in law confessed to me she had noticed how sickly she looks. I knew it too. I have been constantly checking her for fevers because that’s how pale she is. No fevers. Once I had the call from the school, my moms comments and my sister in laws concern, I moved quickly. I moved up her blood work and ultrasound for her abdomen to yesterday and today. My mind is sick with worry. When your child BEGS you to go to bed at 7:30pm and doesn’t wake up until 7am the next morning and needs 2 naps to get through a day of rest, something is wrong.We are hoping it is a food allergy and specifically Celiac Disease. Not that Celiac is a good thing but its better than cancer or lupus or some other life long illness. I can change our diets no problem! I can deal with that very easily. If there is something terrifying wrong, I might just have a breakdown. My baby never feels good. She is not the same child and it kills me. Now I have all this guilt from when I would try and wake her up in the morning and I would yell at her because she just couldnt get up and it was me thinking she was just being difficult. That’s going to make me cry AGAIN! Im just feeling very helpless and we are playing the waiting game to get results or move on to the next test. It is so hard to not be able to protect your child from something if you dont even know what it is. That’s what going on with me right now and if I dont write to much its because I am taking care of my daughter. We have been to 3 doctors this week alone! In the past month, probably 8 times not including my checkups! Its very emotionally taxing and I feel lost but we will get through whatever is wrong with her. I just hope it is something easily fixed.
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