Surviving the Domestic Jungle

The question of the day is this: Can married women keep a secret? The Answer: NO! In my opinion anyway. I think it needs to be a universal understanding amongst women that when you tell us a secret, our husbands will be the first to know. I tell my husband everything and wouldn’t have it any other way. When contemplating this topic for my blog, I asked him if he tells me all his friends secrets and he said yes, so I guess we are equally guilty. The difference is, 90% of the time, he doesn’t care about the stuff I tell him while I hang on every word he tells me! Anything he tells me about his friends, goes no further than me and anything I tell him, stays with him. We are like one person really. You tell one of us, yes the other one will know but we never let it go any further. I think that we are a pretty normal couple in that sense. I think we are pretty normal friends when it comes to that too. I know when I tell my girlfriends things, their husbands know everything I said. Im cool with that. I would never get mad at my friend for sharing something with the one person she is supposed to be able to share anything with! Women need to talk, we need to express ourselves and complain when necessary and men do the same thing just in their own way. The things my husband has told me that him and his friends talk about almost shocks me. They sound like a bunch of hens clucking in the hen house!! Isnt that what men say about us? Well, they are just as guilty if not more so! Everybody needs to vent! The only thing is no one is actually keeping what they say or hear a secret! Who cares really? My friends husband is NOT going to come up to me and say ‘so I heard this about this. Care to go into detail?’ That will NEVER happen so he can know whatever she wants to share and I could careless. If it is something I dont want any husbands to know, Ill tell my mom but then again, she will probably tell my dad who is her husband so either way, not one soul is keeping a secret!!

Avery has had a few good days health wise recently because she has slept 14 hours each night. She is spending the day with her grandmother today so hopefully she doesn’t over do it but I am sure she will be asleep by 7 or 8 tonight. We have had a pretty good weekend around here! I took the girls and had some maternity pictures taken (thanks mom!!) and they came out beautifully. We had a great back drop and some fun outfit changes! It was nice to take a picture of ALL my babies!! Today I am finishing up my baby shopping (again, thanks mom!!) and just basically getting everything organized. Tomorrow or Tuesday I get the results of Avery’s blood tests and ultrasound. I’m scared but happy I don’t have to continue not knowing. Whatever it is she has going on, we will get it diagnosed and taken care of. I am keeping myself very busy until then and if that phone rings while I am in the shower, I am hoping out of the shower soap and all to answer! As long as I have my son’s stuff organized, I can really focus on Avery and not have to worry when I go into labor that I am unprepared. I have a couple little things to do but I am feeling a sense of urgency for some reason. I had a dream I was in labor last night and I am well aware of how wild your dreams can get when you are pregnant but I tend to take them as more of a warning or friendly reminder that time is ticking!! Ive never been allowed to just go into labor so I am nervous about being prepared. The first two it was “be here by this time”! Very calm, no rushing, no pain, no worries. I like some aspects of induction but others, heck no! I guess I am going out with a big bang and if it weren’t for no insurance, I wouldn’t be having this experience so in some ways I am thankful. In the heat of labor and I may have a different opinion but for now, I am looking forward to the whole mad dash and chaos. My mom lives about 45 minutes away so as soon as I am sure I am in labor, I am going to have to tell her to haul her butt to my house because a lot can happen in 45 minutes and if it is at 5pm, 45 minutes will quickly turn into 2 hours!! Stress….. Oh well, as long as I feel prepared, I can handle it. This week I should get some answers and some peace of mind!

Yesterday was one of those days where you finally accept what has been happening and quit living in denial. My daughter, Avery, is sick and I don’t mean cold or flu sick. I mean months of deterioration to the point now where she is exhausted all the time, pale with black circles around her eyes, rarely eats, rarely plays and her hair has started to look unhealthy. I have known for a while now she has been having tummy troubles and I took her to the dr for that and she said first we will try prilosec for 2 weeks and if that doesn’t work, we will go into more extensive testing. Yesterday I got a call from her school that she was not well again. She has been sick more in the past 2 months than she has in her whole life. Her immune system is very weak due to whatever it is her body is trying to fight and losing the battle. I took her immediately to a clinic to get her blood taken. Her doctor had ordered the blood work and I was going to do it just not in an emergency state of mind. I was thinking Friday after school we could pop over and do it not after me crying for an hour that my baby is not well. My mom hadn’t seen her in a month and when she saw her, she was immediately concerned and then my sister in law confessed to me she had noticed how sickly she looks. I knew it too. I have been constantly checking her for fevers because that’s how pale she is. No fevers. Once I had the call from the school, my moms comments and my sister in laws concern, I moved quickly. I moved up her blood work and ultrasound for her abdomen to yesterday and today. My mind is sick with worry. When your child BEGS you to go to bed at 7:30pm and doesn’t wake up until 7am the next morning and needs 2 naps to get through a day of rest, something is wrong.We are hoping it is a food allergy and specifically Celiac Disease. Not that Celiac is a good thing but its better than cancer or lupus or some other life long illness. I can change our diets no problem! I can deal with that very easily. If there is something terrifying wrong, I might just have a breakdown. My baby never feels good. She is not the same child and it kills me. Now I have all this guilt from when I would try and wake her up in the morning and I would yell at her because she just couldnt get up and it was me thinking she was just being difficult. That’s going to make me cry AGAIN! Im just feeling very helpless and we are playing the waiting game to get results or move on to the next test. It is so hard to not be able to protect your child from something if you dont even know what it is. That’s what going on with me right now and if I dont write to much its because I am taking care of my daughter. We have been to 3 doctors this week alone! In the past month, probably 8 times not including my checkups! Its very emotionally taxing and I feel lost but we will get through whatever is wrong with her. I just hope it is something easily fixed.

I am convinced that no one is reading my blog because all I do is talk about being pregnant. How boring…. Obviously it is a big deal in my life but who wants to read about someone else’s pregnancy woes. I could go on and on about myself and how I am feeling and progressing but I think I am going to try and stop. I am trying to keep myself as busy as possible in order to keep my sanity and keep interesting blogs flowing. Its a challenge. I am trying to jam pack each day with friends or family or some sort of activity that keeps me focused on anything but the fact that I am the size of a house and ready to give birth even though I have a few weeks left. I am so desperate to keep myself busy that I watched American Idol with my husband. He LOVES that show and has favorites every year and will watch every episode. I never got into it but I have to admit, the auditions are really funny. The bad singers we literally felt embarrassed for! Why do people try out for this show if they sound that horrible?? I am no singing diva and I know it. Why do these people think they are so good when they are so bad!! Some of it HAS to be fake. I think it is really hard to get up in front of those celebrities and sing and then to sing without music makes it even more difficult! I am always in awe of the people who put themselves out there like that but don’t they have friends? Isn’t there someone in their lives to say “don’t do it!” I guess its the same as asking your husband if you look fat. Instant “NO!” Am I I good singer? “YES!” All lies!! We all need to start being better friends and saving our friends from looking like a joke on television!! I guess that tells you how desperate I am to occupy myself. I watched, and enjoyed, American Idol. Consider that my confession and the likelihood that it will happen again is slim. I wonder what else I will do to occupy myself?

I have read so many things about the “Teen Mom” show recently that I have to comment on some things that have been said. I personally watch the show every week and I also watch ’16 and Pregnant’. I find those shows so fascinating because you literally have these little girls who are pregnant and yet worried about prom and friends! Welcome to motherhood ladies! Hence, Teen Mom. It is the follow up to what happens after baby and it is not all cute and cuddly. It is so hard and I see these girls dealing with some major things at an age where you really aren’t equipped to deal with it. This season, there is a girl Leah, who had TWINS and one of the twins has health problems and I just cry every time I see her story because I cant imagine going through that as an adult! Some of the teen moms amaze me with the kind of mothers they become and some just disgust me (Janelle, Amber!!) Kim Kardashian made some comments about the show being bad and not to idolize those girls blah blah blah. Shut up Kim!! Go make a sex tape or perhaps pose in playboy! Don’t judge people when you are not a role model or someone to be idolized yourself. Teen pregnancy has been going on for a long time before this show and will continue to happen regardless of television shows. How do we prevent teen pregnancy? I don’t know if you can. Most of the girls on the show say they knew about birth control and how you get pregnant but still did it unprotected anyway. I guess the key is never leaving your kids alone with a boy/girl! Bottom line is, I don’t think the show is promoting teen pregnancy. I think if anything it gives a very realistic example of how hard it can be. Especially for Leah with her sick twin! This season is better than the last one as the issues are way deeper meaning they are showing Janelle fight with her mother for custody (Go mom on that one!) and Leah with a sick baby and Kailyn having no where else to live but with her ex boyfriends parents! These girls have tough things to deal with where the other girls all have families with money (or MTV is paying them well) and they focused more on relationships and trying to date while a mother and it just didn’t have the eye opening sad stories that this season does. They also did a special where one of the moms became pregnant within a year of her baby being born and she got an abortion. I know (for some reason) abortion is a taboo topic but girls out there need to know ALL their options and I think it is great what MTV is doing by bringing all these topics to light. Through awareness comes change and maybe by MTV showing all of these girls struggling, then more girls will protect themselves and we can prevent teenagers from having to make grown up choices.

Last night after some very painful contractions I realized that if I had been in labor that I would not be prepared at all. I mean I have baby clothes, hats and diapers oh, and blankets but no car seat yet. I dont have a bag packed for myself and my ‘on call’ for my kids is my mom who is about 45 minutes away and she is not very reliable with answering her phone! I am going to have to do some practice drills with her because I will call her and 3 hours later she may call me back.  It could be two days later. Either way, we need to work on it. I think I mentioned that the birthing center had given me a list of things to bring and I will be reviewing that list and getting everything on it so I am prepared. My husband can always go buy the car seat before we leave so Im not too worried about that part but I need to get cracking. Sometimes (a lot actually) I forget that I am pregnant! I know its weird to think you can forget something like that but I do. About a month or more ago I was having some cramping and I thought to myself ‘hmmm wonder if I am getting my period?’. I laughed to myself at how ridiculous that was to say or think when I cant even see my feet. Sometimes I want to just lay on my stomach and do things like type these blogs or watch tv or read books to the kids. I always miss laying on my stomach when I am pregnant. Today is designated “get it together” day! I HAVE to do these things so every little contraction doesn’t make me have an anxiety attack because I am not ready. This baby could literally come at any time and I need to once and for all get prepared. I suppose I am not the first mother to procrastinate on preparing for the birth of her child and I wont be the last!

Today was a fun day! It started by slightly sleeping in and then I went shopping for my baby boy! He is weeks away from arriving and I figured I better start getting him clothes, diapers etc. If I let it go any longer I would have risked sending my husband for things while I was in labor and not that I don’t trust his taste, its that I want to be involved in everything being this is my only son and the last time I will be picking out baby stuff! My sister in law met me at the baby store and we had fun going up and down the aisles. I am so excited about my little boy and all the blue after all the pink!! After the baby store, my sister in law and I went and met up with my other sister in law for dinner. It was me, my two girls, my sister in law and her two girls (5 months and 9) and my other sister in law with her baby who is 9 months. It was all girls and all chaos. Well, their kids were good but mine were not. Hailey will not stay in her seat no matter what and at one point was playing under the table. I find it so frustrating because I don’t know if I should yell and scream and interrupt peoples meals or if I should just let them do the bad things they do. Avery was much better but she wouldn’t stay in her seat either and ended up taking 5 suckers from the candy jar they had at the front desk. Going out without my husband is just not enjoyable because I cant ever relax and know he is picking up the slack. I told both my sister in laws we need to just cook at home! Once I have 3 kids, it will just be too much for me to handle for a while. It was good to have a girls dinner and nice to see them and share a few laughs but ultimately it was very stressful for me. I still enjoyed going out because I know soon enough I will be bound to my house and on a diet! I am going to try and see everyone as much as I can before I give birth because otherwise they are going to have to come to me for a while! I like to leave the house in a normal way a week or two after giving birth. I need a week to get adjusted to not sleeping and get a routine and then another week to be able to fit in normal (but still not my size because I am not a celebrity who loses all their weight three days after giving birth) clothes. Bring on the social life…..for now!!

I am having such a busy, social weekend that I have not had the time to write! I am having a blast with old and new friends. Last night we had dinner with my best bud and that was a great time and today a friend from the past came over with her family and we had so much fun! Their little baby is 5 months old and sweet as a button and having a baby around was good for me because I will be having one myself in a few weeks. These last few weeks are flying by at an alarming rate! I went for my check up on Friday and the midwife asked me if I had my bag packed. I don’t. She asked me if I had the list of everything I would need to deliver at the birthing center. I don’t. She asked if I had all the things I need for my baby. I don’t! After answering no to many vital questions, she called me a rebel and I decided it was time to hop into action and get things ready. Luckily, my friend gave me one thing I needed for the delivery which is a baby hat. I never put those baby hats on my babies but I know they like to at the hospital and I guess the birthing center does to. She also gave me homemade soap and lotion that is my favorite scent (Lavender!) and they are both fantastic! They are all natural ingredients and easy on sensitive skin. I was thinking I would use the lotion on my tummy when it gets itchy from being hugely stretched! I love natural products but the price always tends to be more which seems unfair but she has great prices and so far, a great product! It was so nice to see her again and meet her husband and baby girl. We had a great lunch and they were our first guests in our home. Well, other than quick visits from various people, it was our first meal with friends in our home and my husband and I were kind of giggling that we never in a million years thought they would be our first guests! It turned out wonderfully and tomorrow I have another social day with my sister in laws. A little girls dinner is the plan and my days of easily (somewhat) going places is winding down so at this point I am pretty much game for everything and anything!!

If its not one child sick, its the other! My little Hailey has a terrible cold and is pretty much miserable. Avery has just gotten over some bug that was pretty rough on her so I suppose it was Hailey’s turn for a day or two in jammies. Trying to keep my kids healthy is a losing battle this winter. I cant control what Avery does at school but I have given her all the essential tools of knowledge about washing hands etc. At home, they both get little kid vitamins and they both wash their hands a lot. Well, not so much Hailey but definitely Avery. When we get home from anywhere, it is straight to the sink to wash up. If everyone would just wash their hands what a difference it would make! I remember last year with that whole pig flu thing, I saw huge bottles of hand sanitizer on sale everywhere because people were paranoid about it. When I went to my pediatrician around that same time, I asked her if it had made a difference in how healthy or unhealthy kids were and she said that there had been a decrease in illnesses that winter. There is the argument that some bacteria is good and believe me, you are getting bacteria whether you wash your hands or not! Anyway, now that Hailey is sick, we are taking a day off and playing at home. It was a beautiful day for the park but, sacrifieces must be made for health!! I dont take my kids to the doctor for every little cold and every little fever. Kids get sick! That’s what they do and it sucks for them but most of the time there’s nothing a doctor can really do anyway. Of course if it is an infection of some sort (ear, sinus etc) but little viruses just need to work themselves out. Right now, we dont have insurance and the funny thing is, some doctor appointments are acutally a lot cheaper than if you used insurance. You have to reach your deductible, you have co-pays and of course, my favorite, everything is more expensive when you use insurance! Hailey got a shot and a well-child check up a few weeks ago and the whole thing was only about $100 dollars! That is not bad! With insurance that probably would have been $300. For the big stuff, you get sizable discounts but even 30% off $10,000.00 doesnt make that much of a dent! Anyway, we are working on getting better and staying better!!

I have had a wonderful day filled with healthy food experiences and tons of fresh air! I started it with a trip to an all natural type of grocery store. I was thinking I needed to eat more fruit and went to that store because our regular grocery store is extremely huge and when you just need one or two things, it is a big pain in the ass. Anyway, the little one calls itself a farmers market which it kind of is on the inside except it has a roof. It is one big room and there is not a lot of variety but they had a lot of produce and vitamins for the kids so I felt pretty good about my little excursion. It was a positive experience and I will definitely go back when I need produce and not much else. The prices were the same as a regular grocery store which was pretty surprising because usually when somebody slaps on a ‘healthy’ label, the price skyrockets. I was pleasantly surprised. The second part of my day was spent with my girls at the park! They love to go and it was finally warm and dry enough to go! Poor Hailey has quite a deep cough so I didn’t want to stay too long in the coldish weather. She had a blast running around doing everything her sister does! Big time copy cat phase happening right now!! Sometimes Avery is very good about playing with her sister and sometimes I couldn’t pay her to! It drives me bananas when she rejects her because Hailey just wants to be like her but I guess it will get worse as they grow. When Avery is 14 and Hailey is 10, I see problems arising! It was so fun to hang out with my babies and watch them play and then we fed the ducks! That was pretty cute. I am reminded all the time that I need my kids just as much as they need me. Doing things without them is painful for me. If I don’t have my husband or my children with me, I am lost. They are little for such a short time that being away from them just does not make sense to me. When they are moody teenagers and I am an old crusty lady, I will have a social life that doesn’t include them but until that day, I need them to be with me and I want them to be with me! My favorite thing to do with my girls is lay in my king size bed and watch a movie and cuddle. They are so wonderful and I love them so much!