Surviving the Domestic Jungle

I was hesitant to write this blog because I have already written something similar but I thought it was necessary. I am the hugest fan of the CBS show ‘The Talk’ It is fabulous and I never ever watch daytime tv or talk shows in general. This show however is worth it. I usually record it because lord knows I never watch shows when they are actually on! Anyway, I cannot praise this show enough. It is 5 ladies who talk about themselves, their children and their experiences. They do touch on some headlines and gossip but ultimately it is about getting to know them as people and they are each very entertaining in very different ways. Their chemistry is undeniable and it keeps me coming back day after day. Watch one episode of this show and I guarantee you will laugh out loud, cry and feel good when its over. The audience members make out like bandits everyday with free things and they have had some great guests. Today it was Trace Adkins ( I never listen to country music and had no clue who he was) and oh my goodness is he a sexy looking little country fried piece of man! Don’t tell my husband!! I would have never known that if I hadn’t watched the show!! When they interview guests, they never talk about controversial things….EVER. They only talk about being a parent or just talk like old pals. Its refreshing and Im sure the various celebrities appreciate it! Anyway, I HIGHLY recommend this show so check it out! Id like to know what other people think of it!

We have been in our new house for a couple of weeks now and we have these Pergo wood floors that, at first, I thought were going to be a blessing! No cookies mashed into the carpeting, less dust, doesn’t matter if you spill etc. Now, there is a lot less dust which is great. Were aren’t breathing all that junk that was in the air before! I think carpet is extremely unsanitary and gross. Anyway, the spilling doesn’t bug me, I just wipe it up but the maintenance of these floors is amazing! I am constantly sweeping and constantly mopping and trying to find the best way to get them clean. You’re not supposed to use anything on them that has any sort of wax because it just leaves a film so I tried a Swiffer Sweeper and there was film so I hopped on the Internet and someone said use plain water (how does that get clean?) and another said vinegar. Being I am already a super fan of cleaning with vinegar, I gave it a shot and it has worked well. Its not perfect but it does the trick. There are still some streaks but not even a fraction as many as there was with wax. Adding to the streak issue is all the natural light that highlights the various streaks. Have I mentioned I am neurotic as can be when it comes to certain things? Well I am!!! I worry that if I notice, my guests will notice and think I have dirty floors which I do not in the least! You could eat off my floors! It really is a trivial problem in the grand scheme of things but since I just finished mopping damn near 1000 sq feet, I figured I would vent about what a pain it can be. I would NEVER go back to carpet but I still like to complain from time to time about the floors! We do have carpet in the bedrooms but it is that great Berber carpet that you cant even tell if it needs to be vacuumed and it just is so superior to that extra fluffy carpet. I guess that’s enough about my flooring! Any tips for cleaning Pergo wood floors is very much appreciated.

From time to time, I have gone to psychics and really enjoyed the experience. One was total crap and another one got to know me too well and I am not sure how much was psychic and how much was that she learned me and then another one was the kind that just leaves you in awe. I don’t want to know my future necessarily. I’m more interested in my past…Lives! I love to know who I was and when I was and how it affects me now. If you don’t believe in all of that stuff then this probably isn’t the blog for you! I totally believe in reincarnation and a lot of other stuff that I just bundle up and call ‘spiritual’. I have been feeling the desire to go to a psychic recently but it is hard to find a ‘real’ one because lord knows anyone who calls themselves ‘madam so and so’ and are in the phone book are probably not real. I would have to think about what I would want to know but most of the time with psychics I like to let them do the talking and sometimes the stuff that comes up is the stuff I wanted to know about. I’m not sure why I even feel the pull to go to one now but I think I am going to ask around and see what I can come up with. It has probably been about 2 or more years since I have seen one and I guess the desire is creeping up on me and I certainly live in the right city for it, I just have to look! One time I tried hypnosis which was a very odd sensation. I figured I would be asleep and not coherent but quite the contrary. I was wide awake yet I felt almost frozen in my body. I knew what was going on around me and answers just came to me. There is no second guessing, you just know what you are saying is real because it feels real and some of the stuff you cant just pull out of thin air. It was quite the experience but I’m not sure if I would do it again. Maybe but I don’t know. Right now I would just like a good old fashion reading from someone!! Wish me luck on my search!!

I was browsing the internet last night and came across this article about why we cheat and it just made me so mad! The gist of it was that we are like the 4000 other mammals out there and that monogamy is not really realistic. I personally do not think I am like a zebra or a mouse or a monkey! I think I am a little more advanced then them and a little more capable of making a rational choice to hurt my spouse, ruin my family and embarrass myself. I have zero tolerance for cheating and dont know why these stupid articles about ‘we are animals’ even exist! We cheat because we are asses! We cheat because we dont give a crap about our loved ones and only care about making ourselves happy! If you are cheating, you are in the wrong relationship or just an ass. There is absolutely no good reason to cheat and especially not the excuse that you are an animal. If my husband ever came to me and told me he cheated and his excuse was because he is an animal, I would mount his head on my wall like a deer..which is an animal!! I personally, would never cheat on my husband for the simple fact that I like my life and also, who the hell has time for some steamy love affair??? Not me!! In between kids and my husband, the only time I get to myself is a shower at midnight. I would absolutely not have even 10 minutes for that nonsense. I really dont understand what the appeal is anyway. Every woman has a vagina and every man has a penis and what makes one of those more special than the one you have?? I mean, I realize there are a few differences but Im not going to list them!! I think that marrying someone who you have great sex with should be more important than what kind of friends you are. You can always grow as people and learn each other and become great friends but sexual chemistry is one of those things you cant force. I suppose after 10 years you can become great lovers but if things are remotely off in the bedroom, that is a good indicator of a lot of things in your relationship. Sex is the one thing you do with your spouse that you do with no one else. It is supposed to be special and sacred and people have turned it into such a casual act. The idea of welcoming another man into my bed makes me want to throw up. I literally belong to one man and whether I am an animal or not, I will continue to belong to him and him to me. I think that when you go looking for trouble, you will very easily find it and people have to stop looking for it!! Is 20 minutes of sex worth destroying your family, giving your spouse lifetime issues and making you a huge piece of s**t really worth it? If you want to cheat, get a divroce and sleep around freely otherwise realize you arent an animal and be a mature, responsible adult who’s priority in life isnt sex! Try and work on your relationship instead of using it as some excuse for your behavior. I feel so strongly on this topic as you may be able to tell. Im going to post some of the statistics from the article and then the link to the article.

• 75% of men and 65% of women admit to having sex with people they work with
• 68 % of women say they would have an affair if they knew the would never get caught
• 74% of men say they would have an affair if they knew the would never get caught
• 2 years is the average length of an affair
• 60% of men are unfaithful
• 40%  of all men have 1 to 2 copies of the specific gene that makes them geared toward cheating
• 12% of cheating men said their mistress was more physically attractive then their wife.
• 66% of cheating men report feeling guilty during the affair
• 81% of women admit they routinely flirt with the opposite sex

Signs That We Are Cheating

10.) We stop confiding in you and stop seeking advice from you.

9.) We join the gym, go on a diet, try to improve our appearance.

8.) We start deleting all incoming emails when we used to let them accumulate

7.) We suddenly want more sex, more often.

6.) We seem less comfortable around you.

5.) We are emotionally disconnected.

4.) We appear to be confused and worried most of the time.

3.) We compensate our guilt by saying I love you more often.

2.) We are not so needy of your attention.

1.) Trust your gut!

Instinct is the most powerful indicator of a cheating lover. 85% of women who feel their lover is cheating is correct.  50% of men who feel their lover is cheating are right. The 1st clue is seldom obvious. Go with the “feeling” that something is different.

http://itthing.com/why-men-and-women-cheat

Last night I made a run to the grocery store because as my girls and I were putting up the tree, we discovered that one of the strings of lights didn’t work and so off to the store it was. Our grocery store is HUGE and has its own Christmas section. Not aisle, but section! Anyway, we grabbed the lights and a few ornamanets and we headed to the check out. I am a huge people analyzer. When ever I am in a situation where I am waiting and there are people around me, my mind wanders and I start analyzing. Well, the woman in front of me was buying ice cream, chocolate syrup and whip cream and being it was a saturday night, I checked for a ring. No ring. I decided this woman was single and having one of those saturday nights where she wished she wasnt single and was getting ice ream to soothe herself. Sometimes being single is wonderful and fabulous. You have the oportunity to do what you want and when you want to do it. You can sleep on any side of the bed and you never have to fight over the remote and you can leave a mess and no one will nag you and the perks go on and on! The ONE thing that sucks about being single is that you have no one to love that loves you back. You can easily find sex and things of that nature but love, real love, is the thing you don’t have. I’m sure ice cream helps to soothe that but eventually even ice cream doesn’t help. This woman was in her 40′s and, in my opinion, that’s a rough age to be single. As I stood there analyzing her, I felt sad for her because she just looked sad. Maybe Im totally wrong about her. Maybe she was there buying the ice cream because her daughter was having a slumber party and they ran out of ice cream and she was doing the dishes when the kids asked her to go get more and she is one of those people who takes off her ring when she does the dishes. Maybe she kissed her loving husband goodbye and went to get the ice cream and looked sad because she knew she would be up late or because it was cold and she was in sandals. Just know that if you are in front of me in line, I am trying to figure out your story. I look at food purchases, outfits etc! I know its psycho but it is actually sometimes fun. I suppose people do it to me from time to time and I would actually like to know what they come up with!

I have never been pregnant at Christmas time and I have to say it is torture. My youngest, Hailey was born 3 weeks before so I was on a diet and was able to mentally make myself not want all the goodies! Avery was born in October so I had a pretty good handle on not indulging by Christmas time but my son, well he is another story! I am (almost) 2 months away from giving birth and every time I go to a store, it is riddled with yummy treats and I have very little self control at the moment. I know the baby is growing because I put on 5 pounds in one week and it was not because of lack of exercise or my diet. I actually rarely ever indulge myself or any cravings because I know all too well how hard it is to lose the weight. I have this weird thing though that when I go to someone else’s house, the calories just aren’t the same as if I were eating them at my house. Make sense? No, not at all but it works! I HATE feeling fat and I HATE not looking good in my jeans and I know it is shallow but I want to stay attractive to my husband and its hard when your booty has its own zip code and you have a watermelon taped to your stomach and your boobs, well, I have never been a fan of the pregnancy boob. Yes they get bigger but not the sexy bigger. Just the National Geographic bigger!! Enough about me and my body!! I am feeling ok about things at the moment and I am trying to stay active and not eat everything that my body is telling me to eat. There are literally days where I can eat and eat and eat and still want more! Where I have the room for all of this is beyond me! I have to keep myself busy on those days. My dr is making me write down what I eat daily so I guess they can get a good idea of my nutritional habits and it has been a weird thing for me. I write what I ate but every time I write something I think in my head ‘I better not get any crap for this!’ They don’t want me eating too much sugar which is just not going to happen. I need sugar to live!! I swear if I don’t have sugar everyday, my body would shut down! They think an apple is sugary. Um no, it maybe natures sugar but not my kind of sugar!! I am a sweet craver regardless of pregnancy. I have ate less while being pregnant but it is never going to go away. I already gave up my diet cokes! Im not giving up my Nilla wafers or my hard candies or a huge piece of cake on somebodies birthday!! FORGET IT!!  So like I was saying, this is a tough time for me being everything is made with sugar and delicious right now. Wish me luck in not blowing up like a balloon!!

I watched a ‘Baby Story’ this morning (as most of us pregnant moms do from time to time) and I have to say it actually made me feel better about giving birth naturally. Sometimes I watch it and get terrified and feel like it is an evil show but today it was reassuring. The moms that they showed did it naturally and were able to talk and seemed like they were in pain but not the insane, running around screaming pain I imagine it to be. I know I talk about this subject a lot but I cannot express how scared I am. My mom keeps telling me it is going to go so fast that I wont even have time to freak out but I dont know about all that. I know my labors have gotten easier with each child so Im hoping that it isnt awful. I honestly worry about my husband who has made it very clear he is stressed about me doing it naturally too. I think he wont know what to do with me in all that pain and I hope to god he doesnt freak out!! I know him well enough to know he has an edge when it comes to certain things and I really need him to keep it together and help me through it. He is not allowed to even leave me to go pee!!! I am really depending on him to be there for me. Without him, I dont know how I would get through it. We have a pact that worked wonderfully for us last time and I highly recommend it to all couples, we decided he was not allowed to look at the…..well…..birth canal!! We didnt want our sex life to be ruined and I didnt want yet another set of eyes on my overexposed vagina. He stayed at my head and it made such a difference in my comfort level. Giving birth can get gross and who wants their husband to see all that mess!! We plan on the same thing this time around. I think Im going to not watch anymore baby story and not let the fear consume me anymore. Either way, he is coming out and it will hurt so I need to get over it! Im going to focus on planning my BIG baby shower! This little guy is the first boy in a family with 5 granddaughters and its kind of a big deal so I plan on going all out! I have to go look at invitations today and hopefully do my registry this weekend or later next week. Im getting so close!!!

Sometimes Christmas feels like the biggest pain in the ass. Its already the 9th and due to this year being a little hectic, I don’t have my tree up or one present bought. I am definitely behind. I have made it a point to do the tree this weekend but the shopping part is just so not my idea of fun. You could not pay me to go to a mall. I prefer a Walmart or Target or Toys r Us at a very early time or very late. I cannot stand crowded aisles and long lines!! I know I am not alone on that! Some people enjoy all the chaos and I guess I could see why but its just not for me. I have enough chaos in the carpool lane picking my daughter up from school. I am no Christmas hater but sometimes all the effort that goes into it just feels like too much when you are already exhausted. I am from a northern climate where we had snow at Christmas and it really helped to get you in the spirit of things where living in the south, you maybe wearing shorts on Christmas day. Heck I have even tanned one year (a 1000 years ago when I was able to tan and looked decent in a bikini!!) It just isn’t conducive to the spirit of things. I will admit I am also tight with money and spending it is painful. I just cant bring myself to spend the money on some basket of lotions for my sister in law that’s lets face it, she probably wont use. I prefer the “dont buy me anything and I wont buy you anything and if we feel we need to buy something, buy for our kids” motto. It is and always should be about the kids. They are the ones that believe in the north pole and the elves and the reindeer and Santa, not us parents. I always try and give my kids the good Christmas they deserve and keep the illusion alive by eating the cookies we have left out for Santa (would have ate them either way but you get my point) and going to see Santa and getting pictures taken etc. This year my youngest will get into all the fun and she is at the perfect age to destroy the tree. Every time she sees one, she takes the balls off and throws them. Ahhhh the wonderfulness of a 2 year old. Well, here’s to finding the spirit and making it a great, reasonably priced, Christmas.

Today as I was on a mission to find some maternity stores (failed miserably by the way) I drove by a Hooters. I personally don’t think their food is good but I get why men (loser men!!) want to eat there. Looking at 18 year olds in tight clothes is always appropriate! Of course not all of them are 18 but I think the vast majority of the girls are young due to the fact that with a job that is solely based on looks, women tend to have an expiration date. It isn’t known for its hot 40 year old staff!! My husband used to ‘love’ their wings but after eating with him there once, I knew the food was crap and after he was all settled down and married, he realized that maybe the wings weren’t so good. Talk about a test for your relationship! He was so paranoid to look around that he stared me down the whole time we were there! I was on the defense because the waitresses shorts were about the size of my sock and it just is a recipie for disaster! We now go to Buffalo Wild Wings where the women are dressed and there are men on the payroll!! It got me thinking about why there is no chain of restaurants that are focused on a mans body part cleverly disguised as a nocturnal animal. Would I take my husband to a restaurant filled with hot bodied young men? Why the heck not? Pay back is fun isnt it? I cant imagine what it would be called or what the uniform would be but women just dont require all the visual sexual stimulation that men need to live. I cant imagine that it would be a hit and men would go there. As women we have to endure bs like Hooters or else we are just crazy jealous b@!tches. My husband would rather do laundry than go to something like that but dragging me to Hooters is just fine. Maybe one day some women will open a chain and put my theory to the test. Maybe my husband would surprise me if some young stud brought us dinner in a banana hammock but somehow, I dont think so!!

I went to my first midwife appointment today and I have to say it was a very positive experience. I am giving birth at a birthing center which terrifies the crap out of me but every time I go to the center, I feel so calm and like I can do it au natural! It’s definitely not my first choice but it is a pretty good second choice. Im so scared of the pain! Im sure I will be all cave woman and get through it but it still is so scary. Anyway, my appointment was very good and took a long time which was nice. I am so used to the dr breezing in and out and this midwife spent almost an hour with me asking me how I am! I dont get much pregnancy sympathy so it was nice to have someone ask! Hailey tore up the place while we were there and even broke a handle off a piece of furniture and no one seemed mad about it.  I was paying attention but she is quick and so busy right now that I turned my head for one minute to answer a question and bam, broken! I am going to have to bring my mom or leave her with someone next time I go because it just does not work. The midwife said I was very healthy and fit and the baby looked happy and healthy and the only thing is he is transverse which it is still early for him to flip head down and I kind of knew he was in there a little weird because I always feel feet on my cervix and a bum right to the left of my belly button. Hopefully he flips in time! So far, I think I would recommend the birthing center experience. I would especially recommend the price! We do not have insurance at the moment so this was the best financial choice for us and Im thinking overall it maybe a good choice. Of course, in the middle of labor I may think it was a terrible idea so we will see!