Surviving the Domestic Jungle

Who needs a costume for tonight when you could just go as a pregnant freak? I swear the way people treat you when you are pregnant is so black and white! No gray area!! I find men (who I dont know) are always willing to help me or let me go first in the grocery line or basically let me go first for anything. Very nice, very gentlemanly and polite. Then there are the creepy men who look at you weird. I had this man come up to me once and tell me all about how he loved pregnant sex. Needless to say, I was shocked, disgusted and horrified! I got out of there, politely, and never went back. It was a McDonald’s play-land where my daughter was playing. Pervert. Anyway, there are those men who find a strangers pregnancy sexually attractive. I don’t really understand it but to each their own. Then you have the women who ask you 4000 questions and touch your belly and are basically way too much. They are harmless and don’t usually bug me but sometimes your just not in the mood. Ive seen t-shirts for pregnant women that say “Im due____, Its a _____, and I feel great!” Makes it easy!! I personally don’t want to display everything about my baby on my body but I understand why some women would want to! Anyway, then there’s the people that just ignore the fact that you are pregnant and leave you alone and I think I like those people best. I’m not a freak who wants to be stared at or treated differently. I’m still ME, I’m just in a little different body. People forget that its still you and you are still the same person. That’s what I find most challenging about it all. Don’t get me wrong, I do enjoy perks like pregnant women parking or someone helping me lift something but as far as being treated like I’m useless, I can do without that. You don’t change who you are as a woman, you just change physically and for most of us, the change is mainly on the front of our bodies. Bigger boobs and bellies and perhaps booties but all in all you stay mostly the same. You don’t grow extra limbs or anything!! The men who don’t sleep with their pregnant wives are real asses in my opinion. “The baby makes it weird” is the lamest excuse ever to reject your wife carrying your baby! Key word is YOUR in that sentence. Why should a woman have to feel like some sort of cyclops because you guys think your trophy winning “member” (its not as big as you think it is guys!!) is going to bash in the babies head! Give me a small break on that one! Men have been making love to their pregnant wives for centuries and not one of those men (as far as I know) did anything to any babies. Believe it or not, Mother nature or God or whoever, planned it all a little better than that and again, You are not as big as you would like to think!! Ugghh those men drive me nuts. No wonder so many women get cheated on when they are pregnant with some men having the mindset that it is OK to reject their wives and continue to take care of their needs. Talk about crappy to do that when you wife is at her most vulnerable emotionally. Anyway, before I get all worked up and annoyed, the lesson of the day is to treat pregnant women like they are human beings and not freak shows! Be good to your wives and always make them feel attractive because trust me, they don’t and they NEED you to reassure them! And if you see a pregnant woman out tonight, don’t run screaming, say hello!!