Surviving the Domestic Jungle

So a facebook friend and I got into a little debate this morning about monogamy and his stance is it is wrong and unnatural and my stance is it is a choice and totally doable. I get that back in the cave days when our knuckles drug on the ground and we grunted and were full of hair that maybe commitment and monogamy were not our first priority. I could see how monogamy would have hurt our evolution but a lot has changed since then. We speak English( or whatever language you speak), we do not have nearly as much hair and our knuckles don’t drag. We are intelligent people with a great capability of controlling ourselves and our actions. My friend brought up a valid point that some people chose to have open marriages and while this is true and that’s their choice, I do not partake nor believe in it. I think that when you chose to get married and say the vows in front of your family and friends that they mean something. I think that when you commit to someone, you commit your body to them as well. Now, I am fully aware that marriage can suck the sex life right out of you and can suck the sexy and the energy and pretty much everything else! It’s hard when you have bills and babies and jobs and in laws and school and laundry and dinner and the list goes on and on and on and on! Marriage is not called fun for a reason! I understand that sex can become last on the list but does this make it ok to look else where? NO! It does not make anything ok! Life isnt about taking of your pants and fulfilling every fantasy. It’s about family and memories and love. There will always be attractive people who will catch your eye and you’ll look and think they are attractive but is taking it any further than that worth it? No it isnt because when you do, so many people are affected. Its not just your spouse and children. Its your parents, your spouses parents, your in laws, your friends, your co workers, your neighbors and the list goes on. Everybody is affected and for what? For the same thing you do with your spouse just maybe it’s a little more exciting with someone new? Or maybe it’s the element of getting caught? Like I said, it is a choice whether you respect your spouse enough to stay committed to them. It is not hard, not unnatural and not wrong to love and be intimate with one person for the rest of your life. Its beautiful and the way it should be. I couldn’t imagine sleeping with someone else and then coming home to my family, kissing my spouse and then crawling in bed with him!! YUCK! And if monogamy is so wrong to some people, let me ask you this, why does it hurt the other person so much when you aren’t faithful? Do you think Tiger Woods’ wife doesn’t hurt? Or Sandra Bullock? Or any other person out there who’s spouse decided that it was unnatural. It’s not ok to cheat. Its not ok to validate it through some stone age programming. What is ok is to spend your time working on your marriage and building a strong foundation. What is ok is respecting your spouse and your vows enough to keep your pants on. All sex is done the same way. We all know how it works and we probably all enjoy it and sometimes it gets boring in marriage but that is your responsibility to spice it up not look else where. You wouldn’t have married your spouse if you thought they sucked in bed and something tells me that we don’t all look as hot as we did when we met so love each other for who you were, who you are and who you will become because ruining everything you have built over the years is just not worth it for 15-20 minutes of cheap thrill! Love each other…Not everyone!!!