Surviving the Domestic Jungle

I have gone to the grocery store twice in the past couple of days and those two trips were very different. The first was a difficult one for me because Hailey had fallen asleep in the car so I was forced to carry her and push the cart which is always a workout! I got my 5 or 6 items and headed to the checkout. I have grocery shopped and carried Hailey a thousand times so I have no problem doing it and can do it all alone. I got in line and stood there waiting my turn to put my groceries on the little conveyor belt thing. I didnt have to wait very long and the woman in front of me offered to unload my entire basket (which was only a few things but still!) and as much as I didn’t need her help, I accepted it happily. Not many people have ever offered to help me and it kind of caught me off guard. Whenever people are helpful and kind it always kind of shocks me because the average person is usually not that way. I make a conscience effort to be like that but sometimes I am a grouch or the kids are distracting me and I am not as helpful as I wish I was. Thanks to that sweet woman for reassuring me there are kind people! The next experience was the exact opposite. I went in again for a couple things (because I can never ever remember everything in one trip) and again got in line and waited. The store seemed to be under staffed and the cashier didn’t have a bagger helping him. Well, he was an older gentleman and he was checking out this woman and bagging at the same time and he was not exactly swift about it. She just stood there. Never once did she offer to help or even just start helping. I was just standing there in awe of this woman watching an elderly man bagging her groceries and instead of helping and realizing she is not too good to bag her groceries, she stood there and the only word that I could think of was lazy. Was she required to help? No. But is it the right thing to do? In my opinion, yes. She didn’t have any casts on her limbs and she was a younger woman and looked physically capable. It just bugged me that she was so unwilling to help. I was thisclose to helping the elderly man but I thought that might be a tad over the top! I will say one thing about that woman, she had fantastic shoes! Great taste but lazy. Tragic combo. The grocery store is never a dull place and the best place for entertainment is the check out line! Makes people crazy for some reason!

Last night I watched a movie called “Becoming Jane” about the life of Jane Austen. It starred Anne Hathaway and James McAvoy and it was FABULOUS! I never realized she had a life so similar to her books. Of course the movie is not completely fact based as most aren’t but it was so good and I can see where she found her inspiration for her stories. I cried one little tear at the end because the whole movie is about love, finding it, keeping it and letting it go. It got me thinking about that time period which I love so much. Ladies were ladies and men did their best to be gentlemen and things were simple. Playing the piano and reading were types of entertainment and people wrote letters to express their feelings for each other. It was a beautiful time and then I started thinking about whether or not I would go back in time and live in that period. I have obvious advantages that would help me such as knowledge of hygiene and vaccinations as well as upcoming events! I don’t know if I would permanently go back in time but maybe for a few months just to see what it was actually like. I wish I could take elements of then and bring them to our time. Especially the ladies behaving like ladies. Not that I am a shining example of a lady but it just seems like a better way to be than the way some women have become nowadays. Men would definitely be more gentlemanly and I would also bring back the letter writing. When I met my husband, I did not even know what his hand writing looked like until we were together for 2 or 3 months! Life has become about the telephone and text and emails and has lost the personal touch of a letter or a simple conversation. We are losing our ability to communicate with people one on one and I think that is not a good thing. The fashion of the times, while beautiful, is very impractical. Long live jeans and shorts and pants! I do enjoy wearing dresses but they didn’t just wear dresses. The dress was the cake topper and underneath was unimaginable amounts of fabric and corsets and everything I do not want to ever wear except for if I were ever to dress up in authentic clothing. I don’t foresee that happening so cozy clothes and jeans for me! Check out the movie and catch a glimpse into the life of one of history’s best writers!!

This week has been a monster of a week full of ups and downs and more downs but things always have a way of ending up ok. The school issues got worse before they got better but after speaking with the principal, I feel much better about things and am content. I still dont like how everything went down but her telling me that they would change things for next year was all I wanted. I wanted to make a difference and I did and that felt awesome. Somebody has to speak up and I am glad it was me. On a brighter  note, the weather seems to have cooled of a tad! When I walk at night, it is almost decent and I dont sweat like a pig. There’s a warm breeze and it is not nearly as difficult to walk a long distance. I still really enjoy my walks and I know my girls love it too. A friend of mine gave birth to an absolutely adorable baby girl this week and I could not be happier for her. Becoming a mother is such a special experience no matter if it is your first baby or fifth. Its a miracle and such a special experience. Maybe a little painful but beautiful. Its a very quiet friday night and after this crazy week, I am enjoying the peace. At a certain age, staying home and relaxing just sounds so much better than a loud bar or a busy restaurant or anything that doesnt involve my bed, my tv and a good snack! Not sure what the weekend holds but I do know I am in need of it. Its so funny that my daughter has been in school exactly one week and I am already back in the swing of the weekends being so great. That familiar feeling will creep up on a sunday evening when you prepare for your week ahead and head to bed early. Saturday night you stay up really late and friday night you try to stay up but you got up at the crack of dawn so its a little harder to stay awake. The weekends have meaning again and I am so happy summer seems to be ending. Bring on the winter!!

So a facebook friend and I got into a little debate this morning about monogamy and his stance is it is wrong and unnatural and my stance is it is a choice and totally doable. I get that back in the cave days when our knuckles drug on the ground and we grunted and were full of hair that maybe commitment and monogamy were not our first priority. I could see how monogamy would have hurt our evolution but a lot has changed since then. We speak English( or whatever language you speak), we do not have nearly as much hair and our knuckles don’t drag. We are intelligent people with a great capability of controlling ourselves and our actions. My friend brought up a valid point that some people chose to have open marriages and while this is true and that’s their choice, I do not partake nor believe in it. I think that when you chose to get married and say the vows in front of your family and friends that they mean something. I think that when you commit to someone, you commit your body to them as well. Now, I am fully aware that marriage can suck the sex life right out of you and can suck the sexy and the energy and pretty much everything else! It’s hard when you have bills and babies and jobs and in laws and school and laundry and dinner and the list goes on and on and on and on! Marriage is not called fun for a reason! I understand that sex can become last on the list but does this make it ok to look else where? NO! It does not make anything ok! Life isnt about taking of your pants and fulfilling every fantasy. It’s about family and memories and love. There will always be attractive people who will catch your eye and you’ll look and think they are attractive but is taking it any further than that worth it? No it isnt because when you do, so many people are affected. Its not just your spouse and children. Its your parents, your spouses parents, your in laws, your friends, your co workers, your neighbors and the list goes on. Everybody is affected and for what? For the same thing you do with your spouse just maybe it’s a little more exciting with someone new? Or maybe it’s the element of getting caught? Like I said, it is a choice whether you respect your spouse enough to stay committed to them. It is not hard, not unnatural and not wrong to love and be intimate with one person for the rest of your life. Its beautiful and the way it should be. I couldn’t imagine sleeping with someone else and then coming home to my family, kissing my spouse and then crawling in bed with him!! YUCK! And if monogamy is so wrong to some people, let me ask you this, why does it hurt the other person so much when you aren’t faithful? Do you think Tiger Woods’ wife doesn’t hurt? Or Sandra Bullock? Or any other person out there who’s spouse decided that it was unnatural. It’s not ok to cheat. Its not ok to validate it through some stone age programming. What is ok is to spend your time working on your marriage and building a strong foundation. What is ok is respecting your spouse and your vows enough to keep your pants on. All sex is done the same way. We all know how it works and we probably all enjoy it and sometimes it gets boring in marriage but that is your responsibility to spice it up not look else where. You wouldn’t have married your spouse if you thought they sucked in bed and something tells me that we don’t all look as hot as we did when we met so love each other for who you were, who you are and who you will become because ruining everything you have built over the years is just not worth it for 15-20 minutes of cheap thrill! Love each other…Not everyone!!!

Well, I am type A personality. That’s just a little confession that may help people understand why I get so stressed out about things. I think I don’t like change…..Anyway, things are getting better at the elementary school. Other than being told I crossed the street wrong, today was decent. I actually met another mom who had the exact same stresses and worry as me! I felt so bonded to her instantly because I completely understood where she was coming from. Our kindergartners helped each other to class and I know both of us felt better about them having a buddy! After speaking with her I realized I am not the only spazz of a mother and that maybe I should do something about it so that the other mothers don’t have to go through all the upset that I have. Maybe I am going “too far” but if another mother had stepped in and told the school their system didn’t work, I wouldn’t have to had all the stress. We always wait for someone else to step in and say something and I am thinking this time I may be that person. I would feel like a whiny baby but I don’t care if something were to change. If information were to be given and I was to save one mom the stress then it would be worth it. All I would ask for is information. They need to type up the dos and dont’s and make parents aware that they need to teach their children where to go. I would even pull for trying to walk the kindergartners to class for the first week but I would understand if for security purposes they didn’t allow it. I just want to be treated like one of the 5 year olds to be honest. I want to be treated like I don’t know anything because I don’t! Ok, when it comes to Kindergarten, I will no longer complain until homework comes home that I am unable to do! Until next week, I will not complain

Kindergarten is turning out to be a nightmare! I am so stressed out this morning about all of this. I took Avery again and was going to take her to her class and teach her the exact way because I was not planning on taking everyday for the rest of her life! I would like to be able to just drop her off in my jammies! Anyway, so we get to the school and then I over hear this teacher telling a mother that she can’t go past the front office. Ok, well that would have been nice to know YESTERDAY!!! I would have taught Avery how to get to her class yesterday had I known I only had one day to teach her. I am so tired of going to places and them treating me like I wrote the book on their rules and regulations. I didn’t! I’m as clueless as Avery is about how it all works and I believe the Kindergartners need a couple of days to learn their surroundings without being thrown into the mix. She looked so scared as she walked down that hall with all those kids and I lost sight of her and then left feeling like I was about to cry. I just think that the school should be a little more understanding of these little kids. I have jeans older than my daughter and I wouldn’t expect my jeans to know how to get on my legs!  Not that that is a valid comparison but you get the idea. Avery is very smart and very brave but I am the one who is literally falling apart. I wish the school gave out fliers to the new parents about how the school is run. I feel so negative about school right now and it shouldn’t be that way. It should be an easy transition and an easy process but instead it has become a huge source of anger and stress for me. I hope things get better or I am going to need a vacation! If picking her up doesn’t go smoothly today I know I am just going to finally cry. I’m probably being a big baby but I don’t care. Ive spent almost 6 years trying to keep Avery safe and teach her not to run off on her own and now I have to tell her to just do everything alone without an adult! Alright, I think I am done venting for now. We will see how today’s pick up goes. I may be back with my feathers ruffled. Let’s hope for the best!!

For some reason my last blog didnt get published until just now. Its should have been dated August 21st. Anyway, today was the BIG day and I failed miserably. I was the total over neurotic stress bag that I usually am while Avery was cool as a fresh cucumber! Everything worried me! Didn’t help as we were walking up to the school this disgusting man “snot rocketed” right in front of us. GROSS!! For those of you have not been lucky enough to witness a snot rocket first hand, it is literally blowing your nose without a tissue. Just blowing it all over the ground. At 7:30 in the morning this is pretty stomach turning.  I cannot find the words to express how gross I think that is but I will drop it because that man was not the focus. I took Avery to her class and she was a brave, big girl and I said bye and that was it. Had her lip quivered I probably would have fallen apart but she was totally fine which I expected. She is very adaptable unlike me. I am a creature of habit and routine and structure. All day while she was at school I was nervous about the pick up process. I understand that elementary schools run like clockwork and they have systems in place but I was unsure of how I was supposed to fit in to it all. I went 30 minutes early thinking I could observe the other parents and there were a surprising amount of parents there already. So I sat there and sat there and then my turn came and there was a little stress but it was ok. Tomorrow will be better. Avery did wonderful and I was the mess. I kept saying “Im new to kindergarten too!” and its true. I have to learn the rules just like she does. I think this year is going to be a great year and I cant wait for Avery to read and write and learn everything in general. Everything is so new and fresh to her and she loves to learn and she loves to participate and looks forward to homework! Of course after a couple of years school will mostly lose a little of its luster but for now, we are in a very good place and looking forward to everything it holds. I have enough anxiety for the two of us so she can just sit back and enjoy!

So here it is another exciting Saturday night and all I can think about is Monday. Monday is an epic, life changing day. The day Avery starts Kindergarten. I am so nervous yet excited about it. I can’t believe this day has come so soon!! We went to the meet the teacher yesterday which was a nice experience. I am really nervous about picking up my daughter and they have this whole system so it seems pretty easy. We met the teacher, Mrs. Greene, who encompasses each and every stereotype that you could imagine for a kindergarten teacher. Big smile, extra friendly and a warmness about her that you instantly feel comfortable. I’m sure she is just as nervous as all the other parents and kids but she never wavered in her confidence and extra helpfulness. I feel very comfortable with her teaching my daughter. WHEW!! While we were there we got school supplies and signed up for the car pick up system and then go the heck out of that circus! It was craziness with all the parents! All in all I very really good about the school and the teacher and so does Avery which is the most important thing. We went and got another pair of new shoes today and she is set for school. She has a wardrobe most women would envy (thanks to two very generous grandmothers and a mother who has the inability to say no) and she will be the best dressed kid in kindergarten ever! Monday morning I will probably take a thousand pictures of my little student but she loves the camera so she will be ok with it. I really cant wait!!

When I say makeup I don’t mean making up with someone, I mean the stuff us ladies slather on our faces everyday in an attempt to look delicious. Well, I for one wear very little makeup and always wonder if I should wear more. For those who do it right, they look great and for those who don’t do it that great yet think they do, they look just plain weird to me. Over the top makeup is just the worst in my opinion. You look a little alien ish. I understand we all want to look pretty and feel pretty but does makeup do that much? I am asked all the time if I am 10 years younger than I actually am. This is a little odd to me considering the wrinkles that have permanetly moved in. I have always heard my whole life I look younger than I am but I don’t wear very much makeup. Could the two be connected. Maybe I have one of those “faces” and maybe it will be a blessing in my old age but for now its a pain in the butt. I don’t want to look like a teenager with pimples. I want to look like the mother that I am and also beautiful. I am not sure if piling on the rouge will help me look better. I don’t know what the key to looking  your age is but I am obviously not at the age where I want to look younger yet so I guess that’s a plus. I also live in a very very humid climate and if I wore a ton of makeup in would be at my boobs within minutes. I guess to each their own but I am jealous of the women who wear flawless makeup and amused by the women who look like an 80′s throw back. I guess I linger somewhere in between like most ladies just doing the best we can not to look scary everyday!!

Did you miss me these past couple of days? I know some of you probably went through withdrawal not being able to read my witty little blogs but fear not, I have returned to fill that void in your life. I was away visiting my parents at their new house in the middle of nowhere that I stupidly believed would have Internet up and running. It did not and my laptop didn’t get touched for days. That may have been the first time that has ever happened…ever. My trip was fabulous and I cannot stress enough how important my family is to my soul and heart. They are all crazy and drama queens but I love each and every family member. I am one of 5 and I guess I am the middle child. I saw every sibling but one but it was still a great time. When I say my parents live in the middle of nowhere I mean NOWHERE. Their driveway is like going off roading and I pity their pizza guy! Their house is beautiful and sits on top of a big hill and the view from every window is just beautiful. They’re at that age where they want solitude and privacy and I don’t blame them after being there. The world and all its chaos and stress seems to disappear when you are there. Time flies and your totally relaxed until you get back in your car and head home to reality! Either way it was soothing to my soul to see them. I laughed my behind off and am counting down the days until I can return! If there is any advice I can give my avid readers it is to always keep connected to your family. Of course everyone’s definition of family is different. For me my family is my mom, stepdad and siblings and their kids as well as mine. We are all close and maybe its the Italian genes but family is always first! Love them all!! Ill be writing a few blogs to catch up!