Ahh Sex and the City. What a fabulous show that has now transformed into fabulous movies. It is the ultimate chick flick but they aren’t just a Hollywood formula movies. They are movies that are so fantastically written that each one has brought out every emotion I am capable of feeling. The first one was about love and how forgiveness can go hand in hand with it. If you didn’t cry when Big left Carrie at the alter and they bumped into each other in the street and she hit him with her roses then you are heartless and have no soul! That movie moved me so many times. Between the Carrie pain and the Charlotte joy I really loved every moment of that movie. It showed how every relationship has struggles and we are all human and make mistakes. All of us make mistakes and all of us hope at some point for forgiveness and the funny thing about forgiveness is you usually have to be willing to give it to receive it. Forgiving someone can be harder than loving someone which is why there are probably so many divorces or relationships ending. Some things are unforgivable but I believe that is a very personal choice. There are things people have forgiven which I could never and there are things I have forgiven which other people couldn’t. Its all relative to your relationship and your beliefs. Either way, the first one really warmed my heart and made me think about things a little differently. Of course it was a movie and fantasy and blah blah blah but the message is real. The point they are trying to convey is real and should not be over looked because of the killer wardrobe those women wear!
The second one I watched tonight and was so touched again that I had to write. It is very late but there was no way I was going to sleep without processing what I have just watched. The second one was definitely lighter than the first. More humor and silliness but the topics they cover are just as real. Miranda and Charlotte talking about being mothers and wondering if they are terrible mothers is what got me the most. I suffer everyday from wondering if I am the worst mother in the world. Everyday I worry that I am doing something wrong or not doing enough or basically just screwing my kids up with every action and word I speak. I think most mothers worry and I think it’s because we worry that perhaps we are good moms. What would it mean if I didn’t worry? I would just think I was the best? That sounds a lot crazier to me than a mother who worries that they are terrible. I think just the act of worrying is being aware of your actions which means you put thought into it which is never a bad thing. Mothering is not easy and nothing and no one can prepare you for how hard it can be. How emotional and terrifying it can be! There’s a moment where they toast all the mothers who do it without help and I thought to myself that they have pretty easy lives but for a mom like me who does it with no help, what is my alternative? I have to do it all and I enjoy doing it all. I dont want a nanny to raise my children or to clean my clothes or to make me dinner. I want to do those things for my family and even if I could afford a nanny full time, I would never get one. Your kids are only little for so long and then they’re teens and think you are a loser and want nothing to do with you and then they are adults and have their own lives. I cherish these years where my girls want me around and need me around. And to be honest, I need them as much as they need me. There were many other elements to the movie that touched me but the main thing was the mother scene. Running into Aiden in the middle of nowhere seemed a little stupid but at the same time, without that element Carrie would have never realized that she is content sitting on the sofa with the man she wanted to love her for 10 years and now she had him. Sometimes we need reminders of the fact that it is ok that our lives have changed when love and marriage enter them. Its ok to be boring and spend Saturday nights in because all those single people out there, they are looking for someone they can sit on a sofa with on a Saturday night. All in all, fantastic movies. If you are going to be or have watched them try to see through to the deeper message because the movies just become so much better when you get to the heart of them.
I’m officially the biggest baby on the planet. My husband went to a movie this evening and when I am alone with the kids I am on high paranoia alert. Little side note: I do not go to movies. The last movie I saw in a theater was ‘The Others’ which was a very long long time ago. That was when movies were somewhat reasonably priced! I can’t stand being scrunched in with people I don’t know in a dark, cold room where I generally am trying to strategically figure out what the best part of the movie is for me to go pee. Either way, it is not a fun time for me. Of course, I marry a man who LOVES to go to the movies so basically we have an understanding. He goes and I don’t and we don’t give each other any flack for it. It works. So anyway, he went tonight and the moment he told me he was I got anxiety. I have this weird fear of being alone with the kids and feeling like I’m so vulnerable and all the bad things that could possibly happen will happen all in the few hours he is away. Maybe it’s because I am a woman and as a woman it is pounded into your head that you can never be to careful you can never take unnecessary risks! I guess between that and TV I have a huge fear of being alone at night. I want a dog but just like I don’t like to go to movies, my husband doesn’t like big dogs. I want a German Shepherd and he is completely against it. Its a wonder we got married with how much we have in common!! 
One day I will get my dog! I have a plan and even if I have to go see a movie for one I will. I know a dog isn’t the end all be all of safety but it sure helps me feel more comfortable. To be honest breaking in to someones house sounds pretty scary to me. You never know what the homeowner might have in their house as far as protection goes. Between dogs and guns, I dont know if it is worth it. If you were to break in to two people I know off the top of my head homes, you would be dead or seriously injured. They are hunters so you can imagine their selection of guns! I guess I am of the thinking that the world is how you chose to view it (to some degree). If you (or me when I am alone) sit around thinking about all the scary things that happen out there then you will view the world as a crime filled place of fear. If you see the world as a place filled with mostly good people with families then it becomes a much safer place. I guess the thing you can hope for the most is that our neighbors are watching out for us. Although I have heard that most crimes are committed by someone you know so who the heck knows but I am hoping to one day out grow my fear with a new fluffy puppy!!
My husband came home from work today and told me a story about seeing one of the women at his work and she said to him “you’ve gotten fatter!” My husband was actually a little irritated by this which is very understandable. He has gained weight but it was only because he quit smoking (YEAH!!) and gained 30 pounds which he needed to gain anyway. He looks great but I guess she hadn’t seen him in a while and the difference was shocking to her. When he told me the story the first thing that popped in my mind was ‘what would happen if a man said that to a woman?’ He would probably be tarred and feathered and then forced to leave the country. Ok, obviously over dramatic but come on! A woman would have probably been in tears and freaking out and it got me wondering why women are so sensitive about weight yet we talk to men like they are made of stone and don’t care about their weight. Most men would have you believe that they don’t care but of course they would love to look like the hot guy on the beach with the ripped body. Who doesn’t want to look like a perfect specimen? I sure do but I don’t have the time to work out all the time and I have no desire to eat 100 calories a day and the only pack of anything with 6 in it I care about is toilet paper. Ok I am getting away from my point which was women and men talking to each other in a similar fashion being completely unacceptable. I actually feel sorry for men. They have to be so careful with everything they say and pretty much everything they do at work all to come home and still have to watch what they say! Oh well, can’t feel too sorry for them but when it came to my husband’s story I was a little shocked by that woman. He has been asked if he has gained weight and people have said he looks ‘different’ but never just a blunt ‘you look fatter!’ He is pretty thick skinned so I am sure he hasn’t put much more thought into it but I thought it was such a wonderful example of how we talk to men like they can handle what we say. Men actually have it pretty hard on a couple of topics. We will freely tell them they look bad or blow off their sexual advances because we are too tired (everyone loves rejection!) and we will have no problem telling them their hair looks terrible! Now flip the situation and you would have a lot more divorces and therapy. I would flip out if my husband was that hard on me! I’d cry! I think we need to start maybe treating men like they have feelings buried deep down in their furry chests. Somewhere beyond the jerk things they do lies a heart and feelings and perhaps I will start being a little more aware of just how hard I am on my big fat husband!!
I think I have discovered that Italian food is my favorite to cook and it’s not just because I was raised by an Italian mother. My youth was filled with Panettone at Christmas and Gnocchi for dinner. My grandmother made fantastic lasagna and Nutella was her favorite treat! I think the reason I love cooking italian food is just the shear pleasure of eating it all meaty and cheesy and tomatoey and extra fattening. I have so many italian cookbooks and actually cook out of them with minimal fear that I am going to screw it up. I don’t make any sauces from scratch like my mom does but I don’t have the time either! I have kids dangling off me every time I try and attempt any type of cooking so it better be a quick process! I’d like to one day but at this point in life I am unable. Tonight I made my spaghetti with a meat sauce (it’s soooo good) and then I was feeling all creative and thought I would just attempt some garlic bread. I melted a stick of real butter and then used my garlic press and pressed 2 cloves of fresh delicious garlic. For those who don’t know, I love garlic. LOVE garlic and I only usually eat it raw. I believe that garlic has healing powers and it is actually considered natures antibiotic! Anyway, I mixed up the butter and garlic and used a kitchen brush (I don’t know the technical term for the brush my husband uses on the bbq) and painted (that’s what I call it!) the white bread with it. It smelled heavenly. I turned the oven on a low heat and popped them in the oven expecting to pull out garlic bread heaven. Well, it didn’t quite happen like that. I basically pulled out a piece of white bread that had been warmed and tasted like it had been buttered with a knife that had just chopped garlic. I am assuming I need more heat or more butter or more trail and errors! No one ate it of course except for me and to my defense it was not that bad but it was not that garlic bread I envisioned with a crunch and a buttery indulgence. This will not discourage me on my quest to add as much unnecessary fat to the family dinner as possible! Onward and forward!!
The last 2 days my laptop has been confiscated by my husband for something for work blah blah blah boring boring boring! He’s a “computer guy” and I fall asleep whenever he tries to explain things to me! I’ve missed my blog and had many great topics to discuss but my lifeline (laptop) was in use for other things. First thing that came to me to talk about was genuine happiness for others. I don’t mean ‘oh I am happy for you’ I mean ‘I am so happy for you I literally feel like crying’. Well, I had a moment the other day where I felt genuine happiness. My friend since the first day of first grade is having a baby and she had posted some pictures of her beautiful belly on facebook and I just felt so happy for her. Without getting into details of her life, she has had some sad things happen and this little baby is a very wanted joy in her life and I know she will be a fantastic mother! The topic got me thinking about different levels of happiness for others. I believe that there are different versions of happy. There is of course genuine happiness where you feel so happy that not one negative thought enters your mind and you feel like crying (well I do but I am a little emotional) then I believe there is ‘polite happiness’ where you say you are happy for someone but behind it comes a negative thought. Example: Your friend tells you they got a new job and you say ‘oh that’s great! Im so happy for you’ and then in your head you think ‘you aren’t qualified’ or perhaps ‘how long til you get laid off’ or maybe ‘I wanted that job’ or maybe even some variation of this but basically something that is very contradicting of what you just said out loud to your friend. My personal favorite is when you tell people you are pregnant or engaged. People tend to be a little more forth coming with how they feel about those topics but it is still the same general idea. Instead of us all judging people to the standards that we believe they should live up to, we should just be happy for people when they are happy! We should shut the heck up with our opinions and just be genuinely happy for someone who is embarking on a new life, marriage, job, house, car etc. The negative thoughts will always cloud our minds and where so those even come from?! Why does the mind do that?! I know I am guilty of this and I sure know that people are guilty of doing this to me. I am from here on out going to make a conscience effort to feel genuine happiness for everyone that is happy about something in their lives and hope that somebody feels genuine happiness for me in the future. We could all use a little more love and happiness at the end of the day!!
On another note, nobody has commented yet….ANYONE OUT THERE????
I haven’t written anything in a while but I have been having fun fun fun! Last night we went to our friends house for dinner and had such a fantastic time. They made us duck and shrimp and various veggies and then a delicious pumpkin pie. Now, I have only had duck twice in my life and it was both because they made it and I have to say I love it. I’ve heard that it is really gamey tasting but the way they cook it is just phenomenal. I ate a bunch of duck. Actually I ate a bunch of everything! It was just a really great evening. Good food, good friends, good time! Normally I would feel guilty because I over indulged but I have a theory that is completely based on scientific research. When you eat at someones else’s house, the calories do not count. Now, I don’t have evidence of this scientific research but I can promise you that it is true. Or at the very least what I tell myself is true!! Hey we all lie to ourselves every now and again and I think that is a pretty good little lie. All day I have had what I am calling a ‘duck hangover’ because I have been so lethargic and lazy and bed bound and loved every moment of it! I watched a movie and took and nap and finished it off with some pizza (those calories count) and because I didn’t take my walk last night, guilt was setting in. Right in my butt!! So I gathered up the girls and stepped out the door ready to walk my butt off and saw the black sky looming. I normally will just walk it anyway and this night was no different. The sky was a tad scarier than usual but I figured it would be ok. Since things have a tendency of happening when I reach the point that is the furthest from the house, that is when things got scary. The sky was getting creepier and creepier and then out of nowhere comes this gust of wind that stopped me mid stride. It also kicked up all the gross dirt off the street and deposited it right in my eyeballs! I mean this wind was ferocious! I was literally scared that a tornado had dropped out of the black sky and I immediately closed the top part of the stroller to protect my girls eyes and booked it home. They were pretty tense on the way back and I was too. Luckily it didn’t rain but the wind and the sky were enough to get me home in record time! Hopefully putting on that little burst of speed burnt off the little burst of eating from last night!!
Ok, I have been blogging for around a month now and I have not heard one peep from one person! There were a couple of spam comments but those dont count. If you read my bogs, if you enjoy my blogs PLEASE let me know. It is getting very lonely! Everyday I wonder if anyone is out there……anyone?? Even if your comment is “we are here” I would be thrilled. I know it takes time to build up your popularity so to speak but I am very impatient and expect instant results. I’m kidding! I’m desperate!! I hope to hear from someone soon!
Today was pretty basic. We went for our walk this evening knowing that the sky was threatening to rain and of course, about as far away from the house as we could be at that point in the walk, it started to rain. Nothing major but enough to get us pretty wet by the time we made it home. It was more refreshing than anything. My hair looked like a big fuzzball but I wasn’t all sweaty when we got home! I’m actually looking forward to tomorrow for dinner at our friends house. Always always a good time with them and our kids love each other which makes it all the much better. I can’t decide what to bring. FYI I am a huge believer that when you go to someones home for a meal you always always bring something. I of course am no culinary genius so I am pretty much limited to desserts which is fine by me I was thinking of bringing a beautiful bouquet of flowers because who doesn’t love getting flowers? And also cookies or perhaps cupcakes. MMMMmmmm Cupcakes may be the winner. Now the question is homemade or the pre-made ones from the grocery store….. Guess that depends on how smoothly tomorrow goes. Now I want cupcakes! Cupcakes may just be one of the worlds perfect foods. When there is a cake in front of you, I think you are more inclined to get a bigger piece than you would if you just grabbed one cupcake. I know I will eat double the cake and then I feel totally guilty over eating 2 cupcakes that don’t even equal half the size of a piece of cake I just gobbled down without even thinking about it. That makes no sense but either way it tastes fantastic!!
Today was one of those days where you need to do all of those tedious painful tasks. I had been dreading it. On the agenda: Car registration, car inspection and then getting a copy of Avery’s birth certificate for school registration. Ugh. It started with me going to the county clerk that was closest to my house and hoping I could do everything there even though I don’t technically live in that county. It was close, I had to try. Of course after standing in line with the girls for 20 minutes I was told I had to go to the other counties office. Ok fine. My own fault for wasting my time. I got lost trying to find the other one but nonetheless found it and went it and got my registration taken care of pretty quickly. The lady that helped me was quite pleasant and I was totally prepared to have one of the usual helpers that pretty much treat you like an idiot if you don’t know the exact protocol for registering your vehicle. I understand they deal with the general public all day and that is probably an experience all its own but sometimes treat people with kindness. It goes a long way. Anywho, I also went and got the birth certificate at the same building and I was off feeling ever so accomplished. Well, being it is a county building (with jail cells) there are police! Tons and tons of police. One of which I almost ran over. Ahh you want stress? As I am backing out of my extremely small space, I almost hit the cop which was scary as hell and then on top of that, there was all of a sudden a cop reunion in the parking lot and they are all watching me back out at a snails pace because parked all around me are cop cars and I was NOT going to risk hitting one of those. I was so stressed but luckily got out of that without being arrested! Next it was the state inspection which was a nice break from the county building. They had cookies in their waiting room and a very nice, quick staff! We munched on cookies, I payed 30 dollars more than I thought I would have to and then we headed home. All in all, not a fun day. I did achieve a lot of really necessary things like having a vehicle that is legal. The girls were complete troopers and luckily we get to do it all over next year! Sense the sarcasm? Well, that last sentence was loaded with it!!
I am going to break down and talk about Mel and his recent crazy behavior and those taped conversations. I would like to say I am team Mel ONLY because I don’t think he is an evil person. He has said some jackass things. Quite a few jackass things but when it boils down, what I hear on those tapes is a heartbroken, insecure, slightly overdramatic man who is acting out with the hopes of engaging Oksana but little does he know, he is being taped and she is on her best behavior. I would LOVE to hear tapes where she doesn’t know she is being recorded and see who she actually is when she is mad. Everybody has said mean things. Everybody has said inappropriate things and every one has lashed out while in the midst of a painful break up. He is a human not a god! I really feel for him. He has been a major player in Hollywood for years and has had quite a respectable career yet every time someone of the Hollywood crowd says they think he’s a good guy they get bad press. Whoopi Goldberg for one has taken some heat for saying he is a good guy. I really feel for the man. I know he has said awful and racist things in the past but I do not think at his core he is a wife beating, racist, sexist, full of hate ass. I think he is probably a pretty good guy who for the first time in 30 years (that’s how long he was married) has had his heart broken. I think everyone needs to hop off the hate train and realize that he is just a regular guy and every now and again everyone says things they regret. Everyone yells and trust me, there are much worse people in the world than Mel Gibson! Give the guy a break!!
Today as I was browsing on the internet I came across a story about turning the pacific garbage patch into an island. Now I’m not to sure about the how or the science of it all but I am sure of the why! For a lover of recycling like me, this is fantastic. Now whether it comes to fruition is another story but if it does happen I for one would be thrilled. That pacific island trash patch is a horrific example of what humans knowingly do to this earth and it just makes me so angry. We dump all this trash yet we go and fish and have our dinner out of the same water. To me this is just crazy but I don’t want to get all opinions opinions opinions so all I will say is always recycle!! I am posting two links to check out because once I found out about it I just wanted to spread the word. Again, I don’t know the science of it all but in theory it sounds so great. Check it out!
http://www.vbs.tv/blog/fixing-the-pacific-garbage-patch
http://recycledisland.com/
Other than that little gem of an idea, my day has been pretty tame. Nothing all that interesting occurred today which was nice. I have a full week ahead of getting all the paperwork together for Avery’s school and then hopefully will end the week by going to see my parents. They recently moved about 3 hours away and I miss them very much. My girls especially miss them! I’d like to spend a few days with them before school starts and we aren’t able to up and go anywhere until school lets out on friday. I’m really looking forward to our visit! A couple of laughs with my mom is always good for the soul
