Surviving the Domestic Jungle

While going out to dinner with my husband is fun, romantic and even enjoyable, going with the three kids is not so fun, romantic or enjoyable!! It is so insanely stressful. My kids are not quiet people. That’s not entirely true. My oldest is really good. Even when she was a little baby she would sit happily for hours when we went out to dinner. She is a very social person so I think she just enjoys being somewhere with a lot of people. My middle child is less agreeable…to say the least! Whenever she eats anywhere but home, she doesn’t eat. Maybe two bites…maybe. She is so A type that the slightest difference and she is all thrown off! She’s exactly like her father Anyway, she tends to scream and hit notes that can shatter glass. She needs to be a singer! When we are next to elderly people or couples without children, I always feel terrible about how loud she is. The baby is usually difficult as sitting in his little baby car seat only lasted so long. Then we would just hold him during dinner which meant one of us didn’t get to eat (me) and all in all in is usually an epic disaster. Last night, however, we went out to dinner and everyone was good! Hudson sat in a high chair and happily ate everything we gave him while the girls played!!!! Success!!! The first enjoyable dinner in a long time!! Almost makes me not dread going out to eat!!

My husband is a computer nerd. He is the guy who sits in a room making sure everything functions properly and no one really knows about him until things break…then everyone wants to know him! His skills come in handy around the house! Anyway, he has always worked in 90% male environments and I have liked it that way. We all know about workplace romances happening and being he was always with men, I never worried. Well, he told me yesterday that they had hired a woman (ok…I can handle that) and that she was attractive (Wtf???). Not only is she very pretty, she is a computer nerd who is single. Ahhhhh fantastic My poor husband! He told me about her because he didn’t want me coming to his work one day and me being like “um, who’s the hot chick?” That’s actually not at all close to what I would say!! That’s besides the point! I was really happy he was honest with me about this and I told him we were going to now employ a garden boy and a pool boy and the fact that we don’t have a garden or a pool was irrelevant. I believe that to be a fair trade! When you work full time, you spend more time with the people you work with then the people you love and of course relationships form. My husband loves his coworkers and Im sure this woman will become his friend as well. Its annoying but is apart of the working world. Also, why on earth would some young, pretty girl want my husband? The guy who wears striped shirts with plaid shoes and has three kids and a fabulous, special, charismatic, unique, creative, loving, perfect wife He may be a hot nerd, but he is my nerd and he makes sure I know that!

When I was a little girl, we made popcorn in an air popper machine (which my borderline hoarder mother still has….) and the other day, I finally bought one of my own. My husband is a popcorn addict  but only if it is microwave popcorn with extra butter. I cannot eat that stuff because I would probably die but I do love popcorn. I actually eat it with nothing on it and love it. When you don’t put all that butter and salt on popcorn, it actually has a bit of a sweet taste. Just don’t forget a drink!!! Anyway, when I was 10-12 ish (not sure exactly when) I was making some popcorn and one of the seeds flew out (this happens a lot with air popped popcorn…some seeds do not pop until they get in the bowl and sometimes seeds fly out) and hit me on the collar bone burning my skin and I have a scar from it. Its a small scar but I actually have an injury from popcorn! How many people can say that?! Aside from the brutality of popcorn, my kids are thoroughly enjoying the new machine. They love watching the popcorn come out of the chamber and go wild causing pieces of popcorn to fly all over the kitchen! Of course they don’t actually like to eat it (no butter) but they sure do enjoy the show! I hope they eventually have the same childhood memories of air popped popcorn that I do.

How true is this: A jealous woman does better research than the FBI! This is so true and all of us women have the ability to put this skill into action whenever necessary. I have used it a time or two and may use it again. Hopefully not though because I am married and if I have to become an FBI agent then chances are I need to become a divorce lawyer next I have seen women break into cell phone voicemails (This was a while ago when people actually left voicemails. Now you just call and if they don’t answer, the notification their phone gives them is your voicemail) and retrieve deleted text messages. Here is an idea, if you don’t do something wrong, you wont have anything to hide! I have not been a perfect angel my whole life, and I did sneaky things here and there, but now I couldn’t imagine being a wife, mother, nanny, personal chef, chauffeur etc etc etc and finding the time to do devious things. Who has the time for affairs?? Not me! Also, jealous men can be just as FBI trained as women. Bottom line is, we all can become first rate snoops if we suspect something is up. The only people I will really snoop on will be my kids. If they don’t tell me everything (within reason) I am not ashamed to say I will look through their things if I think something is wrong. I know that is an invasion of privacy but if my child seems like they are up to no good, it is my job as their parent to figure it out and not just let it happen.

I was catching up on my favorite reality show, Home Sweet Hollywood, (Tori Spellings show) and while she cries a lot in general, she cried a lot during this episode but I understood why. She was talking about her third baby (Now Hattie) and how she was going to be born into so much love. That is how I felt about my son (my third baby) being born. When you have your first, you don’t know what to expect. I don’t think anything prepares you for the emotions that overcome you when you meet your baby for the first time. You cant explain it to someone, you really need to experience it to get it. Then your second comes and you feel like “Oh I got this” but then the second ends up not being like the first and you feel like a rookie all over again. Then the third, ahhh the third….you have been through it all..twice…and you feel like you can handle anything. Then you realize how much love your baby will be born into. Not that your first and second weren’t, but the third is just different. You have 4 people all anxiously awaiting their arrival and then all of the extended family and friends as well. Every baby is such a gift and by the third you are relaxed enough to thoroughly understand just how lucky you are. That Tori Spelling is just as smart as can be! She cries a little too much but pure genius nonetheless. I feel like absolutely nothing I wrote makes any sense but maybe the mommies of three might understand what I am trying to say!! All in all, each baby is a gift and the more the merrier

Bath time in my house is like spending the day at Sea-world! Everyone gets soaked…and by everyone, I mean me, my husband and the bathroom. My kids are just unable to be delicate bathers. When I get in the tub, I don’t move. I will just lay there with my ears submerged listening to my heartbeat and my breathing. Its like being back in the womb I cant remember the last time I took a bath (as my bathtub is knee deep with toys!) but I know that I do enjoy them. Finding the time is difficult..unless it is in the middle of the night! I cant wait until my kids just want to take a shower and want to take it in their own bathroom!!! For now, my bathroom is pretty much their bathroom but one day they will want their own space! My bathroom will finally become a room that when the door is closed, it actually gets knocked on! I never really close any doors in my house including the door to my bedroom. I also cant wait for the day that I can close my bedroom door and have them know that when that door is closed, do NOT come a knocking because mommy and daddy are catching up on years of interrupted sex! When I was a kid and my parents door was shut, I was so scared to knock! If I did it was so light and gentle and damn near an emergency! I’m sure every time that door was closed they weren’t doing adult things (I’m married, I know how it really is now…). They were probably just enjoying the peace of not having to deal with demanding kids! So, to review, one day my bathroom will not be flooded, my sex will not be interrupted and my doors will be closed! Here’s to the future

I am a firm believer that we all make mistakes. I am also a firm believer that all can be forgiven on the basis that something is learned from that mistake. Isn’t that the whole point of a mistake? To LEARN from it? If you continue to make the same mistake over and over and over, how can you ever expect to be taken seriously? I have a few repeat offenders in my life and while I love them, sometimes you have to just step away and allow them to fall flat on their face until the day comes they have gotten so low that they ask you for help. It saddens me so much that some people have to go through hell and turmoil before they ‘get it’ but some do. I cant imagine that. I feel like I would never get that out of control before I payed attention but I also spend a lot of time analyzing myself and my behavior (If you hadnt noticed!) I really try to be aware of myself as I am pretty sure I wasn’t when I was younger. I have a crooked smile I was unaware of until a boyfriend pointed it out when I was 18. Yes, I was blissfully unaware that I looked like Sylvester Stallone when I smile until the age of 18. I also was unaware of the fact that I had a freckle on the end of my nose until one day in high school I saw a girl with one and thought, ‘thank god I don’t have one of those’. Go to the bathroom and boom, I have one! I never noticed!! If you don’t notice the little things like smiles and freckles, chances are you aren’t noticing the big things. I now notice everything and am constantly trying to figure out myself and not that I am by any means someone to listen to one this topic, but maybe if we stopped and focused all of the energy spent making mistakes on the betterment of ourselves, things would be better…

When you are faced with a very difficult decision, whats the best way to go about deciding what to do? A pro and con list is always good because then you can see before your very eyes which is the smarter choice. Some people are patient enough to wait and see what happens as they go along. I am not a patient person and so this route very rarely works for me. You could just hop towards the decision that makes the most sense for the moment and forget about the future or you could make the decision to do whats best for the future and hardest at the moment. So difficult to know which choices are the right choices. Ultimately, things always end up ok in the end and looking back, it usually seems to have been the right choice. Things always have a way of working themselves out and eventually things that seemed so scary and so intimidating in the beginning, end up being something you laugh about later on down the road. My mom always seems to be able to laugh about things that were really difficult back in the day so I am hoping that happens to me with all the things that seem like the worst thing that could ever happen! Isn’t it funny how things work? Things that seem like the worst thing that could ever happen in the history of happening become nothing but a good giggle later. I guess that is proof that “this to shall pass” and “what doesn’t kill you only makes you stronger”. Decisions are hard to make, but one you have made one it is best to stick ot through and never second guess your self.

Divorce, like most other things in life, seems to be a luxury of the rich. Us regular folks are left in marriages we may not be happy in while the rich can be married for a few hours and afford a divorce. Divorce is expensive…even if you agree on everything. If you don’t agree, get out your checkbook because it is going to be expensive! Hence, the reason most people work it out while the rich happily recover from their divorce in their beach house. Money cant buy you happiness, this is true, however, it sure can buy you things that will make you happy! I think of Kim Kardashian and her 72 day wedding (which may or may not have been fake) and how the average person wouldn’t give up after 72 days. Most of us wouldn’t even think to just quit after that long! I don’t think that can even be considered giving your marriage a fair shot. I have always thought things were backwards when it came to marriage and divorce. Marriage should be as difficult to attain as a divorce. If people actually had to wait until the ‘honeymoon’ phase wore off, would they actually still want to get married? Once the work begins, how many would split and how many would stay? If you were forced to really think about your choice, I think a lot more marriages would last, rich or not. Ultimately nothing will ever change but when it comes to divorce….especially while people like Kim Kardashian make it seem like such a joke.

I have always payed attention to my health and what I put in my body. I believe that what we eat really is what we are. If you eat nothing but crap, it will take its toll…and quickly. I try to stay educated on what is good for me but I do also indulge in things that maybe aren’t all that good for me. I have written about my love for McDonalds ice cream once or twice before! Anyway, my new food obsession is blueberries. They are considered a super food by whoever it is that designates foods as such. Those little blue morsels are full of antioxidants and can help reduce belly fat, promote urinary tract health, help preserve vision and many other benefits. The list goes on and on! Now, blueberry pie or blueberry muffins do not have the same benefits so don’t even think about trying to pass those off as healthy! The other day I got some fresh blueberries from the grocery store (I think they may actually be in season because they were really cheap) and grabbed a spoon. I ate the whole container and I’m sure my teeth were blue but I love them! I think food is fascinating and I am slowly getting my family away from eating foods that aren’t really foods…just chemicals formed into foods. I will always allow some junk because I think you need a little bad every now and again! The thing is, the more good foods you eat, when you try to eat a big greasy burger you will probably feel sick. My body would freak out if I tried to shove a big mac and fries down my throat. I would probably feel very sick…and maybe throw up. My body just cant handle that anymore. No ones body can handle it but thank god the human body is versatile because all we do is abuse it!